


Vicissitude

by finish0



Category: taekook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Childhood Friends, Enough to make us go aw at taekook, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Hate, Jealousy, Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Memories, Office AU, taekook, taekook being gay, very little smut because i am bad at it, vkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 07:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finish0/pseuds/finish0
Summary: Growing up, Kim Taehyung had learnt a lot. Seen the world around him.Had matured.Someone could say he was no longer haunted by the ghost of is past. But knowingly and unknowingly, the small goodness of it still remains within him.He still knows why his 18 year old self had liked this certain boy, and looking at him now, he can still see it.Strong jaw.Wide eyes, twinkling.Smiling.Jeon Jungkook.And he goes on, questioning life if it had really gifted him like this? Is there a price to all of this? Is all this happiness only a trick?Is he this lucky?





	1. KIM TAEHYUNG

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first ever taekook fanfiction published. I hope anyone reading this would like it and would give it a chance, you won't be disappointed. A small yoonmin here and there, and this is all I can conjure up at this point.  
> Happy reading!💜

Being an extremely talented and always proud of a job well-done, Graphic Designer and Illustrator, Kim Tae Hyung has very little patience for everyone around him. And working in an overly-crowded company, in only his point of view of course, does not work for him.

Actually, the office he works at is not crowded at all, let alone 'overly'. The tall glass building of 21 floors has less then 10,000 people working in it (bodyguards and janitors and security included), all striving hard for the company to flourish.

Jeon Group Industrues.

It had gained popularity very fast, due to the work of these people, for a newly formed 'side-business' of the owner, the current CEO. And despite his non-impressive social behaviour, Kim Taehyung, the Creative Head of Advertising and Marketing department, had one of the biggest hand in its success in such a short time.

And yes he was proud of his achievements.

In general.

If this exact moment needs to be discussed, he is very far away from being proud.

Disappointed even.

"Come on, aren't we better than this?" He says lowly, shutting down the laptop placed on his desk, revealing to himself a very flushed employee sitting in front of him.

"If you hadn't cancelled the meeting Sir, we could've explained the idea in further detail."

"So now it's my fault?" His eyebrows do not miss this chance to be raised.

He sighs as the woman bends her head down low, not answering.

Lower.

"Well, it's no use crying over this kind of incompetence now. You may leave."

The woman looks at him in surprise. "We can always discuss this tomorrow. I need to leave early today anyway", he replies to clarify.

She nods once, picks up her laptop and leaves through the silver door of his well-furnished office.

Anti-social... rude... shy or not, at the age of only 24, Taehyung sure knows how to boss people around. But only for a benefit. He never does anything without a reason.

Maybe in this case, his behaviour can be justified as his way to overcome his fear of people. Fear of getting close to people. Maybe because he can't be comfortable around anyone other than the people he trusts.

Truly.

But the fact remains that his actions are never without valid, potential reasoning.

Except again, right now. Leaving the office at 3:00 pm has no particular distinct purpose.

He gets up from his heavily-padded chair and gathers up his things, after putting on his black coat. He takes a moment to stare out at the Seoul skyline through the huge window.

Some may say he is used to being at the top of everything.

He is used to winning. Which doesn't necessarily mean he is used to being 'happy'.

Ever since he got a grip on his life, he exceeded. Winning. Being the best at everything and anything.

Apparently, everyone should be proud of him. Anyone who knows him.

Apparently, he should be happy. But all he thinks of his life is as an endless pathos.

He clicks his tongue, bites lips, crosses his arms across his chest. The usual.

Small actions that lead to no kind of comfort or peace.

Taehyung has had an unsettling feeling since the night before. He can't really pinpoint the reason yet, and maybe doesn't want to dig into it too. But at this point in life, his work and a small group of friends and... people he can call family are the only things keeping him alive. Making him want to stay alive.

But he constantly strives for reasons to not feel so. To not frel bad about his small life.

He looks for peace.

He sighs uneasily and exits his office, and nodding at some 'chosen' people down the hall, he gets inside the elevator.

'The door is closing.'

He shuts his eyes as he leans his back on the cold, smooth elevator wall. He feels tired.

So tired.

'Ding.'

His eyes shoot open, getting alert. There, to greet him at the 4th floor, is the CEO in all his mighty self.

Jeon Ji Hyung, a tall, handsome and jolly man, and the smile on Kim Taehyung's face doesn't wait very long to be formed. It is his instinct.  
He bows down instantly, and is still smiling as he gets back up on his posture.

"Oh, Taehyung-ah. It's always a pleasure seeing my boy!"

"Oh, I could say the same for you, Uncle. Where are you headed to?" Taehyung asks him as he gets inside the elevator too, his two bodyguards following behind.

"Just a meeting. Shouldn't I reflect the question back to you?"

"Oh, I was just going home. Don't feel like myself right now. Can't focus." 

"Oh, fine then, you must rest."

The door to the elevator parts at the ground floor.

"Thank you", Taehyung says. "I will."

"Do come down to my office tomorrow, okay? Don't forget. You know my son is visiting for the first time. You're the only one I trust around here, eh?" 

"How can I forget?" Taehyung says, adding a small laugh, hating the fact that he has to fake it. Now. These days.

He bows his head down once again before leaving out towards the front of the building.

Taehyung would love to believe that his high position at such a great company is due to his talents.

Alone. 

Only.

Despite somewhat knowing and everyone around telling him otherwise, he can't help thinking it was all a part of Mr. Jeon's 'favour' to his father.

His late father. Whose best friend's company Taehyung works for. His 'uncle'.

Right after graduating.

Too young.

His car awaits him at the foot of the steps leading out of the building. He gets inside, reaching his apartment building quite quickly. And another long elevator ride leads him right towards his apartment, 25th floor, and he is already opening the door and walking inside.

The apartment is fully lit, much to his one-second surprise.

"Jimin Ssi?" He calls out, dropping his coat on the couch in the living room and walking over to the kitchen, he rolls up the sleeves of his white button-up shirt. He spots Jimin sitting on a chair behind the counter, in all his glory, looking quite comfortable. He is looking right in Taehyung's direction, waiting for his arrival inside, smiling from ear to ear.

Park Ji Min, an eligible Korean Literature 23 year old student, can't think of life without the 'Kim brothers.' He got through half his life, high school and start of university because of Kim Taehyung, who even though was never in the same grade, semester or class as him and made him survive.

Thanks to them, he doesn't have to live with his cranky grandparents.

"What're you doing here?" Taehyung questions, walking past Jimin towards the fridge to pour himself a drink after his much 'draining' day.

"Jin kicked me out again", he hears him say.

After a brief pause in the recently started conversation, of Taehyung not replying back and walking over to Jimin, only to replace his own butt for Jimin's feet on the second chair at the counter, Taehyung breaks the silence.

"No surprise there."

He takes a sip of his wine, as Jimin scowls at him and pockets his phone.

"It's not a happy moment."

"Who says it is? I'm fully involved in your pain", Taehyung states. His voice completely devoid of any sympathy for his friend.

Jimin stares at him, unimpressed.

"Dude, I think he's still mad at you for not living with him."

"Ah", Taehyung brushes off his best friend's idea. "I don't care about his ass being mad. Look around. Look at this beautiful, marvelous and must I add, 'one person' studio apartment. I don't need a roommate. Plus, it would be weird..."

"What?" Jimin's eyebrows scrunch up behind his bangs.

"You know, us living together. Very much grown brothers."

"Firstly, I don't possibly see how that is weird", Jimin starts after a pause of trying to comprehend what his friend is trying to say, grabbing the glass from Taehyung's hands to take a 'small' taste. "B, I'm not complaining. It only means I get to live in that huge palace of a penthouse. But he hates me, I think. And I'm quite sure I don't like being kicked out this often. Yeah, I'm very sure."

"Oh, don't be dramatic. It must be to impress a girl or something. He will welcome you with open arms tomorrow morning."

Jimin hums at this, narrowing his eyes, not satisfied with the excuse, not knowing what to say further. But his humming eventually does form a sentence, his eyes going back wide. "Speaking of...! I found you a perfectly hot secretary candidate."

Taehyung gives Jimin a look before snatching his glass of back and placing it on the counter before him.

"How was that conversation about secretaries?"

Jimin shrugs, eager for Taehyung to accept his help.

"Professionalism, Min. Not hotness", Taehyung says, rolling his eyes as he gets up and walks back to the living room, Jimin tailing behind closely.

"Come on, a hot secretary is the dream! What's there to be stubborn about?"

"The dream?" Taehyung snorts.

Jimin nods, although Taehyung can't see him behind himself.

"Female?" Taehyung stops walking, turns around and asks, before dropping down on the black couch of his living room, facing the T.V.

"Dare I say 'yes'?" Jimin says, settling down next to his friend, more closely than Tae's personal preference.

"Well, that sums it up then. How many times do I have to tell you I am gay for you to actually get it?"

"I will believe you after you've actually done it with a guy or something."

Taehyung looks at him, crystally annoyed.

"Gay does not mean straight. You, of all people, should know that", Jimin adds, giving Taehyung a little poke on his arm to create a visual effect and knows he has pissed Taehyung off to the highest degree.

"Thank you for the enlightenment bitch, but..."

Taehyung stops speaking.

"But what?"

"I don't know", he shrugs, leaning back on the sofa, only to switch from channel to channel on the muted television. "Maybe it's only for the right guy I guess."

Jimin stares at him.

"My ass. You're so full of shit. I'm getting that girl an interview anyways."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Chimmy", Taehyung pats Jimin's head, throwing his way a big, fake, crescent-moon smile before continuing to stare at the silent TV.

"I dont know how but you're still less lame than Jin. And what a brat he is."

"Team Kim Seok Jin!"

Jimin rolls his eyes. 

"Oh", Taehyung groans, massaging his temples. "Don't worry. You can always stay here."

Pause.

"Only for tonight."

A cushion is thrown in Taehyung's direction.

"What're you doing home early anyway?"  
.  
.  
.  
Taehyung finds himself actually putting thought into what he is wearing the next morning.

He finds himself waking up early.

Too early.

He is sure, but does not simply want to admit, he has never looked forward to going to the office as much as he is now.

He has spent over 20 minutes trying to decide what to wear.

He just has to look nice today.

He feels the need to.

He knows he has been waiting for this day, unknowingly, for a long time. And now that it's here, it is finally here, he does not want to mess it up.

Through anything.

He has to make everything go right.

He stands before the full-length mirror for a lot more time than necessary, constantly telling himself that it's normal.

Everything is normal.

Park Ji Min standing at the threshold of his room, staring at him is normal.

"What the fuck?"

He gives Taehyung a wide grin.

"What're you doing? Standing here, staring at me, creep?"

"Who goes on a date this early?" A very sleepy and smiley Jimin asks.

"Who said I'm going on a date?" Quite an embarrassed and angry Taehyung questions.

"What're you dressing up for then?"

"For work, of course." Taehyung walks upto him and pushes him out of the room.

"You sure?"

"Fuck you, Park Jimin."

And the door is slammed onto his pretty face.

"I'm so gay for you Tae-Tae!" He hears Jimin shout from behind the door and he can't help but laugh.

If it weren't for him, Taehyung knows how messed up his life wouldv'e been.

More than it is now.

It's a hard thought for Taehyung to imagine.

He constantly wants to remind himself so. Always have in mind that why he has kept Jimin in his life.

Why he only has positive thoughts about the younger boy that never waver.

"You're gay for everyone, shut up!"

Taehyung finds himself in front of the mirror again.

A great invention.

Telling lies since forever.

Taehyung knows he should dress back into something subtle.

Something that is more himself.

Solemn.


	2. JEON JUNGKOOK

Jeon Jung Kook steps out the glass doors of the airport, breathing in the Seoul air after almost 6 years, his many suit-cladded bodyguards following behind. He motions for them to continue forward as the chauffeur to the BMW parked before him opens the beackseat door. He settles down and looks put the window, suddenly feeling nostalgic for his friends back in America as the car rolls forwards, but the excitement to meet his family overcomes it in a matter of seconds.

He feels himself smiling after the long flight as he tries to contain his excitement inside.

He is driven directly up to his father's 'new' company upon his request, despite the driver's constant plea on his mother's orders to go home and 'freshen up' first. Wait a day. 

But no, Jeon Jungkook cannot wait. And as he does not feel tired or jet-lagged yet even a little, he wants to take a look around his future workplace as soon as possible, and looking out the car, he is quite impressed at the building's exterior as the car stops in front of it.

He is lead directly up to his father's office and he dismisses the guard at the oak door, but not before giving him an acknowledging smile, being the always nice guy he is.

Jungkook had always been a down-to-earth person. His wealthy background did not stop him from adjusting to a normal high school life. His father had wanted for him to get the best education and as far as he knows, that is the only reason he was sent to America at the age of 16.

Earning a degree in Business, he is apparently ready to look after a big company. 

Only with hard work.

Determination.

Jungkook is greeted with the biggest and the warmest smile from his father as he enters inside the spacious office.

"Jungkook-ah!" And he is embraced in the tightest hug in the entire world, more promising than what he had received from his room-mate upon leaving.

"Don't disappear", he had said.

"I would never", Jungkook had promised.

Once out of the embrace, the father distances his son, both hands on his shoulders, looking at him from top to bottom, making sure his son is as good as new.

"You've grown so much over the year. I can barely recognize you", he can't help but comment.

"Well, I've been working out", Jungkook replies with a laugh. 

"It looks!"

"Ah, I've missed you so much. How are you?"

"Good, good. Come on, take a seat", he motions for Jungkook to sit, which he politely refuses, as his father gets behind his desk again. He had done enough sitting down for the day.

"What a surprise though, I mean... you weren't supposed to be here until 4 or something. But sorry, I couldn't personally come down to pick you up. I was actually just heading out for a meeting."

"Calm down, it's okay, Dad. I know it must be urgent. I just wanted to see you first. I'll head home in a moment. Meet you there?"

"Uh... let me see", his father says, and Jungkook takes the moment to look around at the brown ambiance. It would be his office soon and he is at the verge of deciding what to change in the interior. 

"You know what? Now that you're here early, let's get your tour bumped up. We'll go home together in a bit. How does that sound?" He picks up the telephone receiver on completing his sentence, as Jungkook only shrugs.

"Oh, Taehyung. I guess you'd have to clear up everything that you're doing at once for your old man. Come right down."

Jungkook watches his father as he laughs before ending the call.

"'Your old man?'" He questions simply.

"Oh, well I do have other sons besides you, you know."

Jungkook raises his brows, trying his best to look the most clueless as he possibly can.

"Do you remember Taehyung? Kim Taehyung? Does the name ring any bells?" 

Jungkook shakes his head and puts his hands inside the pockets of his oh-so professional pants.

"Well, I don't think you should. What am I thinking, you were too little. I don't think you guys even interacted that much."

"What are you talking about Dad?"

"I'll tell you later. You two would get along well, I suppose. He..."

Ji Hyung is interrupted by a knock on the door and a 'yes' from him reveals a sight to Jungkook's eyes that has him wishing that his father's recent supposition is true.

One look at this certain 'Kim Taehyung' and Jungkook is already striving hard to remember him.

If he ever knew him at all.

"Sir?"

"Oh, you're here", his father gets up, gathering his small belongings, ready to leave. "This is Jeon Jungkook, my son, as promised."

Jungkook mumbles a small 'hello' in English for some unknown messed up reason (which is all he can manage), out of what... nervousness?

He knows that he has been staring at Taehyung for five seconds straight now, which ought to be embarrassing, as he manages to think a little in his mind. So instead, he stares out in space, concluding it would be better than eye contact.

Of any sort.

"Oh, I remember. Although I wouldn't recognize him now", he hears him say, to which he wants to scream, 'HOW?', but he contains it all into a small smile that he tries to send in Taehyung's direction but fails and goes back to the 'staring into space' session.

He doesn't know why he is suddenly feeling so shy and... flakey?

He shouldn't? He shouldn't.

"You must, you must. Well, it's a big favour. Thank you for taking time for this."

Jungkook can't help but think that Taehyung didn't reply to his hello. He feels sheepish and foolish and all kinds of embarrassed and feels the need to tell himself to go jump down the building, which would be quite a difficult task for his self-loving self.

Not once thinking that maybe his own voice was utterly inaudible.

It being no fault of the 'beauty-filled boy' in the room.

"Oh, no problem. My schedule is clear."

But noticing how deep and... good? his voice is, Jungkook changes his mind about dying out of his non-understandable embarrassment. Maybe live on to hear more.

Now all he is thinking is, 'What the hell? How? Why? What? Who?"

"Oh, good then." Jungkook sees his father turn to him. "Goodbye, Jungoo. I'll see you soon!" His father finishes with a very bad American accent, to which Jungkook can't seem to laugh. He sees him leave the office, but not before patting the other boy's shoulder.

And then... silence.

Jungkook can swear he can hear his heart beating, despite being unsure if it is still beating or not.

"So... how are you?"

Jungkook finally looks up in Taehyung's direction, trying to suppress a frown.

Why is he speaking English again?

"I'm Kim Taehyung, your father just introduced us?" Taehyung states blankly.

"Of course", Jungkook's inability to make words anymore doesn't allow him to speak further. He wants to smile at Taehyung's attempt to joke but he seems to be frozen.

"Uh... okay. You want to head out now or what?"

"Yes."

Jungkook thinks he knows it by now, his portrait in Taehyung's eyes: Stuck up rich kid, 'ruined' in America, trying to appear mighty. Doesn't like to speak Korean because it would make him look uncool. 

And for some reason, Jungkook wants to play along, given his current condition, he can't really be himself anyway.

"Shall we go then?"

"Lead the way", Jungkook says and wants to congratulate himself as he manages a smile when Taehyung's back is finally turned to him.

He can feel his heart beating very fast. He wants it to stop.

He concludes that his life would always stop or would go on in slow motion if he keeps hanging around 'Taehyung'. And somehow, he wants to do it more often.

After meeting him for 2 minutes, he makes a life decision.

One conversation, a very bad one too, and he knows this would be interesting. 

And fun, he hopes.  
.  
.  
.  
Jeon Jungkook had never had any problems in the dating department.

In the past.

He had always gotten anyone he wanted.

Not that he is a playboy. No.

He is very far away from that.

But he has been on many first dates. Mostly due to his friends' constant persuasions, but that cannot render changes to this fact.

Jeon Jungkook has dated a lot.

First look. First impressions.

He has had many of those.

And he can swear that he has never had a better first impression of anyone.

He can't recall anyone appearing better than Kim Taehyung at the first meeting.

The looks?

The attitude?

He doesn't know. 

But he wants to find out.

The best of him. 

He wants to find out more.

Suddenly.


	3. Of awkward phases.

Kim Taehyung's father had always had a 'best friend'. A friend whom his mother never liked to acknowledge.

Anymore.

Growing older, he had heard much about this certain friend. At the age of 7, he had finally got to meet him. He had brought along his 5-year-old son for them to interact.

Taehyung had thought that it was for the purpose of getting his little self to like him. "Must have been your idea", he had heard his mother say later on to his father.

It was very hard for a little boy to ignore all that his mother had said about someone. He was determined to hate on this man. He was prepared to.

"Hello", his father's friend had said sweetly to him. "What a darling little boy you are!"

Taehyung still remembers his face from then.

It was fresh and young.

Full of light.

And then they had met again. The second time.

Taehyung doesn't like recalling this memory very often but there it was.

At his father's death bed. Where many promises were made. 

At the ripe age of 18, Taehyung didn't like to cry in front of other people. But a loss this great and he was consoled by no one but his father's best friend.

Not his brother. His only family left.  
Sadly unavailable.

His mother long gone.

His birthday was forever ruined for him. 30th December. The date he was born and the date his father had died.

6 months and Taehyung hated himself for needing a father this much.

He cried for hours, and his brother finally here to protect him.

But he still sought his father's forever company.

He still sought his good words.

He found some of it in Mr. Jeon.

A confusin between a crush on a two-year younger boy whom he had never talked to except when very young, had stared at from afar, had seen pictures of and side-by-side jealousy for him to have such a great father, Taehyung does not have many good memories of the past.

He remembers being half delighted for Jeon Jungkook to have left for America.

For good, in his opinion then. For some time.

For his selfish part.

He had felt how wrong he was as time moved on.  
.  
.  
.  
Growing up, Kim Taehyung had learnt a lot. Seen so much of the world around him.

Had matured.

Someone could say he is no longer haunted by the ghost of his past.

Knowingly and unknowingly, the goodness of it still remains within him.

He had been very nervous throughout the elevator ride down towards the CEO's office. He had found himself struggling to fall asleep the past nights. He had been uneasy ever since he had come to know of the arrival of Jeon Jungkook. 

He had taught himself well that he was never gonna see him again. He had prepared himself to erase any memories of him. He had tried to hate the memories.

He had tried to forget.

But concluding from the tickling in his stomach, he is sure that he is very far from forgetting him.   
He is head-over-heels for the boy he hasn't seen for more than six years.

Taehyung is seldom proud of all his actions done in the past. He rarely credits himself for anything. But some moments ago, he becams very happy about is 18 year old self. He realized again why he had liked this certain boy then and looking at him today, he could still see it.

Wide eyes, twinkling.

Strong jaw.

His imperfectly perfect smile (he had just seen him smiling at his father's secretary from the corner of his eyes as he had followed him out). And as he leads him around the office, spends more than half an hour like this, he becomes indecisive again. 

He again finds himself hard to trust the judgement of his younger self.

Because right now, Jeon Jungkook appears rude.

Arrogant.

Messed up. 

At least to him.

He notices he is fine to others.

Nice even.

"This is the HR department", Taehyung says

Nod.

"The reception", Taehyung says.

Nod.

"The Accounting department", Taehyung says.

Nod.

("I think I kind of like you", Taehyung can say.

Nod.)

They are inside the elevator when Jungkook speaks up, properly, for the first time since they had met.

"Where is your office?"

"The top floor."

Taehyung looks over at the black-haired, suddenly silent boy standing next to him. He sees him look back at him.

"Let's go there", he says, after a pause of staring.

Taehyung silently fulfills his request, pressing the button to the 21st floor, wanting to witness the sight of his perfect office to stop himself from having a future headache.

"What do you do anyway?"

"I'm a Graphic Designer. I'm in the Advertising Department."

"Nice, nice. And so is this building. Well-built and everything", Jungkook comments, waving his hands around.

Taehyung can bet that Jungkook is actually playing with him now. Nothing else explains this sudden mood change. And it is doing nothing else but confuse Taehyung further and further.

He looks over at him again and realizes how close they are actually standing.

It's time for Taehyung to nod and smile only. He is basically exhausted of speaking English at this point. He just wants Jungkook to be nice and for them both to speak normally (preferably in Korean) and not take turns. He is still wondering why this can't be a normal conversation between the two, why he can't act normally, when the door 'dings' open.

He leads him out and into his department, noticing the sudden change of color in Jungkook's face. He ignores, or tries to ignore it and walks over to his own office.

"This is me", he opens the door.

The plan apparently is to get one look and leave but it appears that Jungkook would rather go inside. He walks inside authoritatively and settles down immediately on the small leather sofa right next to the door.

Quite a contradicting action, as he appears small and... scared? now. Hands fidgety.

Taehyung awkwardly takes some steps and stands over Jungkook at the threshold, trying his best to express his confusion on Jungkook's acts.

"Uh..."

"Can you close the blinds, please?" He hears Jungkook.

Taehyung doesn't know if he wants to react to this or not for several reasons. Firstly, the very familiar language coming out of Jungkook's mouth suddenly makes him feel like shit and question life. 

In mere nanoseconds, he notices how Jungkook is looking totally normal.

Looking like a person Taehyung can talk to.

He doesn't understand why someone would ask him to close the blinds to a window overlooking the most beautiful places of the capital, just upon entering. 

He finally manages to move his feet and do what he is told. He takes a moment before turning around and just doing what he's supposed to do.

"You know Korean?" He asks which is certainly not a very smart thing to be spoken at this moment. And simultaneously, just as he lets the words out, he internally screams at himself, 'Ofcourse he does! What the hell? You know he does!' He just wants the ground to open and to lie within, feeling extremely flushed. 

He feels unlike his normal self, if stated simply.

"Huh?" He watches Jungkook as he looks at him with wide eyes, looking like he needs a moment to understand what the boy in front of him had just said. And then he is smiling, wide, and Kim Taehyung finally understands what is going on.

"Don't tell me that was your idea of a joke."

"What did I do?" Jungkook asks, plainly, raising his hands up in defence. "I don't see how speaking a language can be a crime."

"Oh my God. You're childish, aren't you?"

Jungkook doesn't say anything as he stops smiling.

"Ugh, I'm sorry. I'm just... you knew I was uncomfortable. Why would you do that?"

Jungkook switches back to grinning. Taehyung is reacting the way he had hoped he would.

Embarrassed.

"I just.. I just don't..." Taehyung doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know if he should be angry.

He would be the childish one if he is.

"I'm sorry?"

He looks up at Jungkook, realizing he had been staring at the ground.

"It's okay", he tries to laugh.

Fails, as it comes put more like a small croak.

This was not the 'first meeting' he was hoping for.

Maybe he wanted to make a good impression on him.

At this rate, Taehyung thinks he would never make one. 

A knock interrupts them both looking at eachother, making them both aware that they had been doing so, not speaking.

Taehyung clears his throat. "Come in!"

"Your father wants you down if you're free."

"Uh, yeah sure", Jungkook says, smiling at his father's secretary and she leaves after giving him a nod.

Silence again fills the room, with Taehyung biting his lip.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. Thank you for showing me around."

And before Taehyung can speak or react or move, Jungkook is out the door and gone.

Taehyung breathes out, taking a mental note to not stop breathing whenever he is in Jungkook's company from now on.  
.  
.  
.  
The next day passes with Taehyung not admitting to himself that he is trying to get a glimpse of Jungkook somewhere around the office and trying to remain calm.

He just has this itch to make Jungkook know that he is not how he acted that day, even if he is. He just feels the need for Jungkook to like him.

In any way? Sure.

The way he likes him? Sure, sure.

"I would have invited you over you know, but..."

"I fully understand", Taehyung tells the CEO, smiling at him, as always. Knowing he would have liked that but as he says he understands, he means it.

Considerably.

And another day comes, and Taehyung is more happy than allowed to see a person walking around the hallways.

They nod at eachother. Jungkook not daring to come over and say hi.

Taehyung basically buried under the emotion of happiness to do anything else.

He had explained in every lame way possible to Jimin later that day that he was not acting weird. 

He was fine.

Normal.

Not looking forward to anything.

Not worried about anything.  
.  
.  
.  
Taehyung looks up from his laptop screen as he hears a knock. He takes a moment to lean back in his chair and stretch before letting in the person.

"Come in!"

He is half surprised, half happy and even more half startled when Jeon Jungkook's face appears through the door. 

"Hello!"

Taehyung swallows. "What are you doing here?" 

"Can't I come here? Dad said we're supposed to be friends."

"Sure you can", Taehyung says, motioning for him to come in further because Jungkook's body hidden behind the door makes his head look like it is floating mid-air, which is starting to creep Taehyung out just a little bit.

Jungkook walks inside awkwardly, settling down on a chair and trying his best to not look out the large window behind Taehyung, which leaves one only one option.

Look at Taehyung. Directly.

Which is hard for him.

"Are you still mad? You look mad."

"I always do", Taehyung states simply, eyeing Jungkook. He notices his hands fidgeting. He notices him either looking down at them or directly at his face.

Which is... somehow weird for him.

Which somehow is making him nervous.

"I'm sorry again."

"No. What the hell, no. But you look... scared? What's the matter? I really aren't mad... anymore."

"Oh... oh no, it isn't that. I just... I'm scared of heights..?"

"Heights?" Taehyung can't help but question, quite surprised. What heights?

"Yes. It's quite high up you know", Jungkook explains.

Taehyung can't comprehend if he should laugh... or basically just how to digest this piece of information. 

Fine but... this is not even a heighted...

"You call this 'heights'? Also anyway, how can you even tell?" 

But he does finally understand why Jungkook had been acting in a bizzare manner in his office the other day.

He sees Jungkook's eyes trail to the window behind Taehyung. He turns around and lets out the smile he had been holding. He doesn't know what bad it would do to smile in front of him. But why would he? How would he keep up the 'no smiling' streak then?

"I'm embarrassed now."

"Then why come up here?" Taehyung knows his large ego was hurt that day and he wants to mend it. Having a little fun with him might do it. Then... he would let it drop.

Really.

"I... I just..." Jungkook is squinting now, swallowing, breathing... not knowing what to do.

"I'm kidding", Taehyung states as he rests his head back. 

Jungkook sighs, shaking his head, the smile again consuming his face.

"What's up?"

"There isn't much work to do to be honest", Jungkook says, feeling sudden discomfort, feeling shy which normally he would beat himself up for. Jungkook is best described as a happy-go-lucky person, as cliché as that sounds. He just can't justify it to himself that why this designated familiar person, who to him is still a stranger makes his knees go weak? Makes him imagine... things.

And he has known him for what.. three days? Even less.

"Don't worry. I've got tonnes. You'd get stuff soon."

"Are you indirectly telling me to leave?"

"No", Taehyung says, quickly. 

Maybe too quickly. 

Maybe Jungkook notices.

"I mean... it's fine. A break's always great."

Silence. 

Jungkook is internally scolding himself for even thinking about ways to tell the brown-haired boy that he likes him. 

Likes.

He doesn't know one thing about him and... likes. Maybe his father's constant chatter about how great Taehyung is added to the visual appeal he was already feeling and lead him... to this state. 

These 'butterflies in the stomach' stage. Too fast.

He should have felt jealous, if a sane person announces his opinion on this situation.

"Dad sure is in love with you."

Taehyung smiles. "Trust me, I am too."

Jungkook laughs, scrunching up his nose. "I swear he didn't shut up about you at dinner my first day here."

"Really? That's actually a relief to hear. I thought maybe he might have noticed me slacking these days. I was thinking maybe he lost his 'love'."

Taehyung hates the fact that this thought had actually occured to him.

His 'real' son was coming back.

Taehyung thinks on how Jungkook's mother would have reacted. He doesn't think it would be appropriate if he asks him this.

"At this rate, I don't think he'd be losing it ever", Jungkook laughs.

"So, what did he say?"

"He said a lot. Umm... basically just explaining all my curiosity", Jungkook says, spelling each word out slowly because for some reason, he really needs to think hard on what words to emit from his mouth. But his analysis state that this strategy isn't working at all. He should rather speak without thinking, his thoughts are out of control anyway.

"Curiosity, eh? What were you curious about?" Taehyung feels himself to be acting very friendly, an emotion he half despises, half just doesn't possess. 

He perhaps likes his friendly side.

With him?

"I mean how you people are so close? How did you people know eachother before? Why in heaven's name I don't remember you and you do?"

"Well, I think I am what? Two years older than you? How old are you?" Taehyung says, now wanting to know what Jungkook's father had said about all of it.

"22. You're 24. Dad said."

"Did he?" Taehyung laughs. "What did he have to say about you not remembering me?"

Jungkook shrugs. "He said we weren't that close, never were. So..."

"He said that?"

Jungkook nods, putting his tongue in his right cheek. He notices confusion taking over Taehyung's face, not knowing the reason behind.

"What's the matter?" He can't help but question.

"Oh, no. Nothing. I just would like to disagree on that."

"On what?"

"We used to be like... best friends, I think. I mean I was seven, memories are a little hazy but..."

"What? For real? Why didn't Dad say? This is dream come true!"

Taehyung raises his eyebrows, trying to hold his laughter at Jungkook's sudden outburst.

And all he can do is look embarrassed.

"Well, I don't know but I'm telling you what I remember. Your father is really like a role model to me, it feels good that he thinks of me... in good words."

"I just don't get why he didn't mention anything about this before."

Taehyung has the sudden urge to tell him everything. Why he was kept away from Jungkook. Why everything is the way it is. Why he had never tried to reach him himself.

Why Jungkook can't ever remember him because he never got to know him. Why he never did.

"He must have had reasons. Well, it all turned out for the best?" Taehyung says out loud.

"Sure?", Jungkook says, looking into the older boy's eyes, having an epiphany about the future. 

Realizing there is no way of knowing what will happen. 

Jungkook isn't the type of person to keep feelings to himself. He has a serious moment to himself, thinking how and when would he ever tell him what he is feeling. 

He wants to know if he would continue feeling this. He wants to know what Taehyung would do, how he would react if he said anything about this.

A person just can't come out and ask someone if they're gay or not, can they?

"I do remember though, chocolate chip was your favourite ice cream flavour. Is it still?"

"No", Jungkook says, enjoying Taehyung's drooping expression at this.

"Oh, well... worth a shot."

Jungkook laughs. "I'm kidding. It actually is. I didn't know I liked it way back then too. But this is great, to be honest. It's like having amnesia or something. And having a person tell you about all your faded memories."

"Well, I'm here to answer all your questions. Your father was very strict about not having you confused or disturbed in any way."

"Oh don't worry. I hope we can be friends, yeah?" Jungkook feels himself in his skin again. He wants things to work out the way he wants them to. Maybe the only way to make things progress is to not be cautious. 

"Sure", Taehyung smiles.  
.  
.  
.  
"Taehyung, come on. You know you're smart as shit and you're the only one who will ever help me."

Taehyung lies comfortably on the sofa of his living room, eyes closed, trying to get as much sleep as he can. But Jimin sits at the foot of the sofa, his million books scattered before him in an unfashionable mess, and he knows that he can't get anything desired right now. 

Jimin grabs his hair in frustration as Taehyung doesn't budge from his decision to not help Jimin with his studies.

"I'm not smart", he says after some time. Jimin looks up at him.

"Taehyung..."

Taehyung gets up and tucks his legs under him. 

"I'm not sad about it Jimin."

"Never say that again okay? You're the biggest geek I've met and I want you to be proud of it."

Jimin can sense the tiredness in Taehyung's eyes. He had been noticing it for a while now.

But as much of a keen observer that he is, he hasn't failed to notice a small sparkle trying to find it's way in there too. He has noticed a noticeable change in Taehyung's attitude and he can't bring himself to ask him about it.

Enough.

"Sure."

Jimin looks back down on his books, twirling a pen around in his fingers.

"Oh, what is it? Fine, I'll help you", Taehyung says.

"No, no leave it. I'm done. I'm leaving this shit. I don't wanna study anymore, I swear to God."

Taehyung lets out a laugh.

"So like you just wanted to have a debate over my smartness and then suddenly decide to abandon your whole life?"

"Pretty much", Jimin shrugs.

"You know, when..." Taehyung stops mid-way when his phone vibrates next to him.

His phone displays that he has received a text message from an unknown number.

'Is this Taehyung?'

Taehyung: yes. Who is this?

"What is it?" Jimin asks.

"I don't know, someone texted me asking if it is me. Anyways, what were you saying?"

"You were saying", Jimin states simply. He had come over to Taehyung's place to study an hour before. Seokjin's manager had come over to their apartment and was making a fuss out of some photoshoot and was basically making impossible for Jimin to study.

It was a good excuse for Jimin to not study but his exams were too near to even think about procrastinating. As much as he wanted to.

So here he is. At his safe haven.

With Taehyung being no further help whatsoever.

He hears Taehyung phone vibrate once more and watches him as a smile takes over his face as he looks into the screen. 

Jimin realizes that seeing this makes him smile too. Unknowingly.

Ever since his parents had died, his life had become a total wreck. His grandparents, the only suitable guradian for him, were no help whatsoever. Jimin had found life to be over for him. He had thought that nothing would ever become better now. 

But it did. It brought Kim Taehyung in his lives. 

He was the one who made him keep on his studies.

Jimin goes back to his reading. For now. Knowing that there is no escaping.

Taehyung rereads the recent text.

'Jungkook.'

Taehyung: did you think i gave you a fake number?

Jungkook: uh no?

Taehyung: sure.

Jungkook: In my defence, a lot of people do that. I had to make sure, no?

Taehyung: well, it is me. Kim Taehyung. any queries left?

Taehyung suddenly realizes that he did not reply to Jimin earlier. He had been staring into his phone foolishly.

H edoesn't want to explain to himself the sudden light-headedness he feels.

"I'm sorry, what was I saying again?"

"Hm?"

"Jimin?"

"Yeah?"

"What was it?"

"Well, we're reading a novel. And it's weird and I just wanted opinions on it because I literally have none myself."

Taehyung chuckles and joins his friend down on the ground.

"What's it about?"

"Basically, human emotions I guess? Mostly love."

"Dude, why did you even think I'd be of help?"

Jimin laughs. "I'm naïve. I wish Jin wasn't busy."

Taehyung's phone lights up again. Jimin sees that he received a text from someone called 'Jungkook'.

"Who again?" He doesn't hesitate to ask.

"It's no one", Taehyung says and shifts back into the sofa, but not before forcing Jimin back into studying. 

Taehyung doesn't knwo what to feel about the knots forming in his stomach.

It's good.

It's all good.

Definitely.


	4. Of miniature happenings.

"Do you know about Taehyung?" 

Kim Seok Jin looked down at the 6 year old boy who sat next to him, toes digging deep into the freshly-cut grass.

"No, why?" Jin's curiosity got the best out of him as he asked this.

"He used to be my friend. He is just gone now. Dad says he was never my real friend."

Jin took a small pause before speaking again, "Are you sad?"

"Yes."

Jin didn't know if what he was feeling was anger. Eleven years old and he was already in a rut of making difficult decisions. 

He was already in the position to protect his little brother, not seeing anything else. Not intelligent enough to see what was going on around him. Too young to know what was going on in his father or his father's friend's minds.

Didn't know how to fix his brother and this little boy next to him.

He just sighed and patted Jungkook's head.

"He must be right", he said lowly, looking up to stare at the hot sun again.  
.  
.  
.  
Playful screams of two boys running around filled the backyard. Jungkook's mother looked out of the window of the kitchen, staring at her son and his little companion.

Jeon Weehin, generally a good-natured and friendly woman always questioned herself whenever in the companionship of anyone from the family of Kim Taehyung. A small boy but he still managed to chill her bones. He still managed to remind her of her aching past.

She stood still as a statue, staring as Taehyung and Jungkook play in the white snow, covered in layers and layers of clothes.

She just couldn't help but think Kim Taehyung is a bad influence on her little boy. 

She just couldn't stand there and watch her son getting 'spoiled'.

She can't stand there, and watch him possibly turn into her.

She must do something.

She must do something fast.

If anyone lets her.  
.  
.  
.  
"You're acting like a teenage girl and you know that", Taehyung says, taking a sip of his cappuccino.

"What are you complaining about? I'm the one who had to deal with this for two days straight", Jin says, at which Taehyung can't really respond as Jimin's defensive mechanism acts up.

Again.

"Yoongi's coming back to Korea after a fucking month and you guys expect me to not act like this? What do you know about love anyway, huh? Damn, long-distance relationships suck. Beside, a guy has needs."

"Oh please, shut up, Jimin!" Jin can't help but exclaim, earning an appreciative pat on the back from Taehyung.

"You're jealous", Jimin says, pushing away his coffe cup and leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest.

"What have I got to be jealous about? Our little rude Yoongi? Yeah sure."

"Why introduce us in the first place if you hate us together so much?"

"Who said anything about hating. I'm simply..."

The rest fades into the background.

7:00 am in the morning and Taehyung just can't take anymore of their bickering anymore. He decides to leave and gets up, but rather sinks down further into his seat, losing all his senses whatsoever when he sees the door to the coffee-shop open.

He hears low voices.

"Tae?"

"What happened?"

"Taehyung!"

"What?" Taehyung squeaks.

"What's the matter?" Jimin asks, speaking clearly for the wide-eyed Taehyung to understand.

"Uh... Jin? You might wanna hide for a while."

"What?" Seokjin asks, surprised, trying to see the reason as to why he would be instructed to hide. "Why would I-"

And he too shuts up. He finally manages to spot the reason of Taehyung's sudden peculiar behaviour.

Jeon Jungkook stands at the counter, ordering a coffee apparently. Very casual.

Safe and sound.

But causing two men across the shop to swallow and go white in the face.

"Oh man, Taehyung why didn't you warn me before? What is he doing here?" 

Jimin is surprised and confused but doesn't get the chance to interrupt the heated converstaion between two brothers that is just about to begin.

"I didn't know he'd come here!"

"Dude, we're right across the street from your office. Everyone must get coffee from here", Seokjin justifies himself, trying his best to speak in a low voice to not 'disturb' anyone.

"And you think I think about all that crap before coming to get a cup of coffee in the morning?" Taehyung whispers his comeback.

"You should, at the rate at which you're obsessed with him."

"Obsessed? Him? Who?" Jimin asks but is easily ignored.

"Oh, shut up and just think of how to get out of here. Fast."

"Have you even talked to him?"

"Of course I have. We talk everyday. Shit, he should not see me with you."

"Guys." And Jimin is not heard once again.

"Why didn't you tell me he was coming back, you bastard", Jin whisper-shouts.

"I had my own..."

"Taehyung?"

Taehyung's stops speaking. He can swear he stops breathing too when he hears the semi-familiar voice call his name.

He doesn't dare to look up and looks at Jimin instead, which does not help as he has a 'serves you right' expression painted across his face.

"Jungkook?" He manages out loud.

Seokjin knows its the worst decision he can make but in one moment, his brain concludes that Jungkook hasn't seen him yet, hasn't recognized him yet and that he still has time. He gets up, and runs out of the booth, past Jungkook and out of the coffee-shop in a matter of micro seconds.

Jungkook is simply flushed with what is happening and Taehyung's face cannot manage to obtain a deeper shade of red than it already has. 

Park Jimin comes to the rescue, thinking he should make a scene about this later on.

"Hi, I'm Park Jimin, Taehyung's friend." And he has two boys staring at him.

"Oh, hi. I-"

"Sorry about that," Taehyung finally says, clearing his throat.

Jungkook lets out a small laugh, coming back to his senses. "Hi", he says to Jimin, giving him a large, overly-expressed smile. "I... I just came over to say hi and well umm... who was that who just left?"

"No one."

Jungkook narrows his eyes at Taehyung. 

"Wha-" Jimin begins but is kicked by Taehyung under the table to stop talking, and to basically just play along.

"No one?" Jungkook asks.

"No one", Taehyung confirms, his heart beating very fast. "Special."

"Well, they looked familiar."

Taehyung shrugs and smiles weakly up at Jungkook. 

"Well, I'll leave you two be. I should head to work, you know."

Taehyung nods at him.

"Nice to you meet you anyway. Good day."

Jimin smiles at him, and slaps Taehyung as hard as he can on the arm as soon as Jungkook leaves.

"What the fuck was all this about?" He asks, and watches Taehyung breathe out a sigh of... relief? For what? For acting extremely weird?

"I have no idea."

"Dude..."

"Where the hell did Jin go?"

"That's the least of my concerns right now. Jungkook Ssi? Is this the 'right' guy you're gay for I suppose?"

Taehyung's looks over at his best friend, and laughs out, his sides hurting him.

What is going to happen now, he can't help but wonder.  
.  
.  
.  
Taehyung and Jungkook have gotten close in the days Jungkook has been regularly coming to the office. Enough to have shared their contact information with eachother. They have gotten close enough to make jokes with eachother now.

But not enough to meet outside the office.

Yet.

And Taehyung's questionable behaviour around Jungkook makes him think about many things.

Especially about their encounter this morning. Jungkook hasn't seen Taehyung around the office after they had met at the coffee shop. 

He still can't decide why the person hanging out with him had run away on an insignificant sight of him. He can swear Taehyung is hiding something from him. But this fact in no way helps or reduces his recent attachment with Kim Taehyung.

He had found himself not working, revolving around in his chair behind he desk, trying to find a 'Park Ji Min' on Instagram, Twitter, anywhere.

He had succeeded in his mission at around 2 p.m and had come to a conclusion that this certain Jimin had infact been telling the truth.

They weren't in some kind of relationship. They were 'friends'.

Just friends.

As far as the world knows.

And as far as Jungkook knows, Taehyung might be straight. 

So might Jimin, for all he cares.

4 p.m.

Jungkook is simply torn between trying to make the decision that if he should build a friendship with Taehyung and then get a possible heartbreak or just get heart broken first and risk a friendship.

Possibly strong friendship. For which he has a positive gut feeling.

He can't decide if the latter would be less painful.

At the end of the day, he just wants more than friendship with Taehyung, who had made him forget about everything else and made him think about him 24/7 in less than a month.

Who had unknowingly impressed Jungkook to a level that undoing it isn't possible anymore.

No one can make him forget him now, Jungkook knows. 

No distance can make his heart grow less fond of Taehyung, Jungkook knows. 

He holds onto this.  
.  
.  
.  
"Jin? Care to explain how did you think that was the best way to 'hide'?" Taehyung announces out his question, as soon as he enters his brother's penthouse, not caring to see if he is busy.

"What?" 

"This morning."

Jin doesn't reply and goes back to eating his pizza and watching a movie. 

Taehyung walks over and sits down next to Seokjin, grabbing the remote and switching off the TV.

"What?!"

Taehyung gives his brother a questioning look, letting him know he is not going to drop the subject.

"I don't know... I can't face him."

"He must have seen you around, you know that. He must think you're happy about leaving him."

"I know, and that only makes it worse you know?" Jin says, rubbing his temples.

"Why did you do that in the first place?"

"What? Run?"

"No. Stop talking to him. You could've not done that."

Seokjin looks down at his lap, not knowing how to answer. He doesn't know if he's ready to continue lying anymore, now that Jungkook is back too.

"Tae, the thing is..."

"People! When am I gonna stop feeling left out?"

Taehyung is already smiling when he turns around to see a very sleepy, messed up Jimin coming out of his bedroom.

"You never will."

"You ordered pizza without me?" He asks upon reaching his two friends.

"Help yourself", Jin says, clearly happy upon Jimin's arrival. Taehyung notices this and lets things go on the way they want to.

He sees the look of relief in Jin's eyes and decides he doesn't want to push him.

"I don't wanna go back", Taehyung says, kicking off his shoes and getting comfortable.

"Well, I didn't build a resthouse for nothing", Jin rolls his eyes, and grabs a beer from the table. 

"Shut up", Taehyung says, already sleepy and ready to have the couch as his bed.

"And when it comes to live with me, you refuse."

Taehyung ignores Jin, not wanting to start an argument. "Yoongi's arriving at noon, right?"

"Yeep!" Jimin exclaims, his mouth full of pizza.

"And it's times like this I'm glad I'm not an idol", Jin says, causing Taehyung to snort.

And they spend the night answering Jimin's questions, Taehyung trying his best not to look sheepish while describing his indescribable crush on Jeon Jungkook.

And then it is an ordinary night just like any other. 

Between three friends.

Apparently happy.


	5. MIN YOONGI

Exhausted and ready to take a good long shower, Min Yoon Gi sits down at the right corner of the bed of his hotel room as he accepts the incoming facetime call on his phone. 

"Hello", he says, rubbing his eyes.

"He- Where are you?" 

Yoongi doesn't know how to explain to his clearly worried boyfriend on the screen that why he is not on a plane, or atleast at the airport right now.

"Uh... a hotel?"

He really wishes he had just voice-called him.

"Yoongi..."

"I'm sorry?" He tries.

"Did you lie to me?" Jimin asks lowly, and Yoongi sees him lower his phone and he notices how he is no longer looking at the phone. 

At him.

Yoongi can easily tell that Jimin is dressed up at 12 am in the morning, making him feel nothing else but bad.

"I didn't. Our flight got delayed. We gotta do this shooting thing."

He feels terrible. He had been feeling low, tired without him anyway. He can't bear the hurt expression on Jimin's face right now.

"I would've told you earlier", he continues. "The director notified us today, I promise."

"It's okay", he hears Jimin whisper, still staring at something other than his phone, which Yoongi guesses is placed on his lap.

"Look at me."

Jimin does, much to Yoongi's relief.

"Saturday. I promise."

Jimin smiles, unable to stop doing so when he sees Yoongi and how tired and lonely he looks.

"Which music video are you shooting for?"

"Just getting some clips for the intro", he explains, getting up and heading towards the mini-fridge to get a coke for himself. "Nothing big, we just found some really amazing spots and thought we should shoot here a little."

"Oh, I hope it goes well then."

"Ow cheer up, please."

"I am cheered", Jimin says, looking plainly at Yoongi.

He chuckles as a reply.

"By the way, I watched some videos of your shows. London's treating you well, yeah?" 

"Well, yeah it's all going great... the fans are just crazy here", Yoongi says, finding himself to be smiling at the thought.

"Are you..."

Yoongi watches his phone's screen, sitting down on the bed and leaning his back against the headrest, as Jimin stops talking.

"Yo, Yoongi boy!" He watches as the video blurs before focusing on a very smiley Seokjin.

"Hello!" He laughs.

"Bitch, you making Jimin mad again. I swear I'm gonna kick your ass when you come back."

Yoongi hears Jimin muttering something in the background and laughs.

Again.

He rarely does that around anyone else anymore.

Smile.

He can't wait to get back to his friends.

The next day, he hopes.  
.  
.  
.  
Ten years back, Kim Seok Jin and Min Yoon Gi had met eachother as idol trainees for one of the buggest entertainment company of South Korea.

Three year of friendship and Jin had given up, leaving his band and Yoongi alone as they debuted. But it had not stopped them from being friends.

Min Yoongi doesn't know how is life would have been different if he hadn't met Seokjin. He remembers how sad he had been for Jin to have left.

"Is it okay if I ask what's wrong?" Yoongi had asked him.

"Just... everything. Yoongi... I-"

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to", Yoongi says and pats his friend on the back.

"No, I do. I need to."

"Is it because of your mother?"

"No, father."

"His death?" Yoongi asks.

"Yeah. And his life."

And Yoongi had listened to him, earning the position of being the only one that Seokjin had shared his worries with. 

Making their bond grow stronger, and remain this way ever since.

Yoongi doesn't know how different his life would be if he hadn't met Park Ji Min. All because of Seok Jin.

He is at a point where he can say he is happy, completely.

He just wants for things to work out fine.

Stay the same.  
.  
.  
.  
"Why exactly would you do that?"

Jimin is laughing more harder than necessary at Taehyung as he questions him with a glare so severe, it can melt a rock.

"He said 'hi' back", he tells him in between laughs and tries to protect his phone but it is already snatched away from him by none other than the very much hostile Kim Taehyung. "You know, I really can't blame you, he really is very hot."

Taehyung and Jimin are siting on the L-shaped leather sofa in the middle of Seokjin's massive penthouse. Jimin had thought that sending a follow request to Jeon Jungkook, the love of his best friend's life, would be a great idea. He is very into his best friend's lost love-life and wants it to flourish. 

Honest feelings only.

He watches as Taehyung throws his way another look of annoyances and continues scrolling through his phone. Jimin gets up and settles down next to his friend.

"'What's up?'?" Taehyung whispers.

"Yes, that is indeed 'what's up?'", Jimin simply states.

"What do you even want from him?" Taehyung asks, irritation coating his words as he throws Jimin back his phone.

"Why, are you jealous?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Quit being a baby. Just admit I've got more balls than you ever will. I mean, I thought you were supposed to be scary, not scared", Jimin says as-a-matter-of-factly, quickly typing out a DM.

"So what's your plan, befriend him? Then what?"

"I don't know. He looks like a pretty cool guy. I would like to know him."

"I swear to God, Jimin."

"What?" He asks defensively and looks up at Taehyung.

"You're a bitch."

"Dude, what do you even want?", Jimin says, dragging his words. "What's the problem?"

"How do you tell if a person likes you or not?" Taehyung says after a pause, a smile hinting in his eyes.

"You ask them."

"It's not fucking simple."

"Well, then... work out a simple solution."

Jimin looks up from his phone's screen again, quite tired of stalking Jungkook's Instagram profile over and over again.

"How'd you get to-"

"What?" He asks, as Taehyung stops talking, looking behind Jimin, smiling questionably.

"What if I told you you'd be screaming the next second?"

Jimin turns around immediately and making Taehyung's prediction quite true, he screams out as he runs towards his boyfriend with open arms.

"Bitch!" He says, hitting Yoongi on his chest once he is done taking off Yoongi's face mask, glasses and cap and has done enough of the hugging and kissing for five minutes straight.

"Ow. What the fuck?" Yoongi asks, rubbing his chest.

Jimin turns around, walking back and he hears Yoongi follow behind.

"Taehyung-ah!"

"What a surprise", Taehyung says, as he gets up and hugs Yoongi. 

"He said saturday. He said it clearly and out loud. Where did you even learn to lie this much from?!" Jimin exclaims, interrupting his friends' moment.

"Jimin academy", Yoongi replies, being the only one laughing at his attempt to joke as he drops down on the couch and looks around. "Where's Jin?"

"He had a shoot today. How are you, anyway?" Taehyung says, judging that Jimin isn't going to reply and looks at him as he sits far away from him and Yoongi, staring at them.

"I'm good. What about you?"

"I've been better."

"Why? What happened?" Yoongi asks, taking off his jacket.

"Nothing", Taehyung says quickly, not wanting to be of attention. "You're free now?"

"Quite. They weren't letting me leave, I basically ran here."

"Well it's great anyway."

Jimin bites his lips.

"For fuck's sakes Jimin", Taehyung finally bursts.  
.  
.  
.  
Taehyung does not like and does not understand the sudden pen-pal attitude of Jimin and Jungkook. They both haven't met even once after their encounter at the coffee shop some days earlier and in one day, one friday and Jimin is already inviting Jungkook to a hangout.

'Their' hangout.

"He's your friend, umm... now my friend too and I'm sure he knows Seokjin and Yoongi too. I don't see the harm", Jimin explains himself to Taehyung.

"Who again?" They are interrupted.

"Jungkook Jeon", Jimin replies sweetly, ignoring Taehyung's pleas completely.

Again.

"Why?" Seokjin can't help but ask, in complete innocence and a loud voice.

"To make things right, for one. You should apologize for what you did that day. And I would really like to meet him, I mean Taehyung here isn't doing anything about it and I think it's my rightful duty to do so. Right Yoongi?"

Yoongi shrugs, earning a scowl from Jimin at his lack of participation and support.

"And who designated you as Mother Teresa? And anyway, I don't think he knows it was me who left."

Taehung and Jimin share a look of annoyance.

"I think he's right though, Jin. He never did anything to you. You should really clear your part", Yoongi speaks out for the first time in the matter, much more aware of the happenings in the Kim brothers' lives than Jimin.

"I don't know..."

"Maybe..." Taehyung agrees lowly.

"Taehyung? Shouldn't you talk to his father first?"

"You sound like I'm marrying him or something. Plus, I'm not supposed to know about this shit remember?" Taehyung cries out the last part defensively.

"Why?" Jimin asks in uncertainity.

"You know I stopped talking to Jungkook when he left for America on Mr. Jeon's orders, yeah? Well, I- I haven't even talked to him since. And... well our Taehyung is supposed to think that I'm the bitch and just basically, not know much about Jungkook", Jin explains, leaving Jimin as confused as before.

"I swear to God, you guys are making it much more conplicated. Just... tell me this. What's Jungkook's fault in all of this?"

Taehyung and Seokjin look at eachother.

"Nothing", they conclude after an agreement made by their eyes.

"It's settled then. This sunday. Hella fun it will be I tell you", Jimin says, already in the process of confirming it all to Jungkook.

Yoongi grunts, agreeing to any decision made if he doesn't have to do anything.  
.  
.  
.  
Jungkook: dont u have an Instagram?

Taehyung: our last convo was like two days ago. U should start with a 'hello'.

Jungkook: okay. Hello. How are you? 

Taehyung: hi. Im good.

Jungkook: great🙄

Taehyung: and no i don't, to answer your question.

Jungkook: okay. But why?

Taehyung: is it necessary for me to?

Jungkook: yah!

Taehyung: i didnt know that.

Jungkook: cmon. U are making one.

Taehyung: umm... sorry no.

Jungkook: why?

Taehyung: i dont want it?

Jungkook: no one 'wants' it. Everyone has it cmon.

Taehyung. Okay.

Jungkook: ure making it?

Taehyung: should i not?

Jungkook: omg no. Yes!

Taehyung: stop being overdramatic. I wont even post anything and im pretty sure i'll be a loner.

Jungkook: ill follow u.

Taehyung: okay.

Jungkook: people know u, dw. And with a face like urs, ud blast the internet.

Taehyung: thankyou?

Jungkook: 🙃


	6. Of unstable mendings.

A clear, bright Saturday morning and Jin has found himself reasons to feel completely fidgety. He had begged Taehyung to arrange this meeting for him and somehow his little brother had caved and talked to Jungkook. 

He just did not have the guts to do it himself.

He justifies it that it would be rude to talk after so many years on texts or call.

Now, Seokjin awaits in the coffee-shop opposite to Jungkook's company, a place that Taehyung and him had found to be safe. So close to danger, yet completely safe.

He adjusts his face-mask, and even though no one had ever disturbed him here, he felt the need to hide his face today.

"For confidence", he had told Taehyung.

Jungkook was supposed to arrive at 1, and it is five minutes past 1, and it is making Jin as nervous as ever, going over his decision again and again.

He is about to call Taehyung and sheepishly tell him to cancel on Jungkook when he spots him entering.

Tall and well-built now, Jin looks at Jungkook and can't help the ball forming in his throat. 

He lets out a breath once and waves a hand around in Jungkook's direction, who is cluelessly looking around. And then he is walking towards him and he can feel his hands go clammy.

"Uh... Taehyung asked you to come here?" Jungkook awkwardly asks him, to which he nods and watches as Jungkook gets inside the booth. 

Jungkook drums his fingers on the table, looking at the stranger sitting before him, still being unable to figure out why Taehyung would ask him to do this.

Jin clears his throat, and takes off his mask, feeling quite dramatic, best matching his personality.

Jungkook stares at him for good, solid five seconds.

"Jin?"

Seokjin finds himself unable to speak.

"It's you, right?"

"Yes?" 

"Oh my God, you look so different live!"

"I'm not wearing makeup", Jin says, and internally face-palms himself. He is confused as to why Jungkook looks completely blissful, rather than what he was expecting.

Anger, for sure.

Sadness maybe.

Anything but happiness, if he is completely honest.

"Why did you scare me like that? Oh my God, it's been so long. Come out, I wanna give you a hug!"

"Jungkook..." Jin says, not being able to help how clueless he is feeling. "What are you doing?"

"What?"

"Aren't you..."

"Mad?" Jungkook helps him out as he settles down properly, his sudden urge to hug the boy in front of him interrupted.

"Yes. I mean... I don't want you to be but it would be rational if you are. And I'm so terribly sorry for facing you like this. I know I don't deserve to even apologize but I really am very sorry. I-"

"Hyung. It's okay", Jungkook says, smiling, which somehow is managing to piss Jin off. 

Why is he not angry at him?

"What?"

"It isn't your fault."

"Huh?"

"I heard you people talking that day."

Jin feels the blood draining from his face.

No, he thinks.

"Who?" His voice comes out small.

"You and Dad."

Pause.

"Jungkook..."

"It's okay. I'm the one who should be saying sorry, no?"

"No, Jungkook-"

"Anyway, isn't it all better to forget? I'm just... I'm so happy to see you right now. I mean, the shit I felt whenever I saw your pictures anywhere online or something and now that I've got a chance... I wanna say sorry to you."

"Oh my God, you don't have to."

"Well, as long as you forgive me?"

"I do, I mean, it's not your fault, is it?"

Jungkook shrugs, grinning. Jin finds himself smiling too, but his thoughts trail to Taehyung and it falls off his face.

"How did you live with that, though? Knowing?"

"I guess I didn't think much of it then. Maybe I didn't undersand it to be honest", Jungkook says.

"How much did you hear anyway?"

"Your conversation?"

Jin nods eagerly, horrified to think of the possible words that can come out of Jungkook's mouth next.

"Not much, to be honest. Enough not make me hate you. Or harm you."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It really is. What made you contact me, anyway? How did y-"

Jin sees how Jungkooks's expressions drop all of a sudden.

"Wait", he says. "How do you know Taehyung?"

Jin bites his lower lip, doing some quick thinking. He really should've thought of this before. 

But there is no use hiding it now.

"He maybe is my brother?"

"Get out!" Jungkook says,eyes wide, making Jin relieved that he doesn't mind it. He is unable to explain why he was worried that he would. 

"Yeah", Jin chuckles.

"But... wait... how does it make sense? Why he didn't tell me? But like... Did I meet him before? I mean... I still..."

"No, you guys never met after... well since you stopped meeting."

"Why? I mean... but hyung... you said you didn't know him."

Jin switches back to worry. 

"Oh", Jungkook says as he tries to put the pieces together. "But why? Why would Dad not want me to know you guys?"

"It's really a long story Jungkook. I promise I would tell you. I just don't want you to have a hard time."

"How do you think I should digest this information then? It just gives me a lot to talk about to Dad."

"No!"

Jungkook looks at the Seokjin with wide eyes.

"No", he says lowly this time.

"Why?"

"He and I- well, we never talked after that. It's a risk on its own that I'm here, talking to you."

Jungkook nods, trying to stop his thoughts that are going back again and again to Taehyung.

"So, what made you look for me?"

Jin laughs. "Ah, that is a hard question. But, mostly Jimin. I guess, you know him now?"

Jungkook lets out a laugh.

"I sure do. Taehyung's best friend", Jungkook says, clamping his lower lip in between his teeth, exposing his one-sided dimple.

"He's great. And I think it's great that I finally got the courage to do so."

"Hyung, you're like the biggest star here. Don't do this to me", Jungkook laughs, his eyes forming a crescent moon, not being able to stop smiling.

"A fan are we?"

Jungkook nods.

"Ah, I've missed you, I really have", Jin tells Jungkook, as they get up to go order a drink. They plan to hang out much longer than Jin had expected. 

He had never been more relieved in his life.

"Me too."  
.  
.  
.  
It is getting harder and harder for Taehyung to keep his feelings inside. And with Jungkook alive and healthy, walking around before his eyes everyday and with the constant worry about his brother, his life has become a mingled mould of confusion.

He knows how messed up it would be if he tells Jungkook. Everything.

He knows that he is not allowed to be with Jungkook. He isn't allowed to be in love with him. 

But the thought of being with Jungkook somehow easily overpowers all his fears. One thought about him and for one moment, he finds himself brave enough to confess to Jungkook.

Ready to face all kinds of circumstances.

Taehyung replies an 'okay' to Jungkook, trying to piss him off or something by the idea, as he gets his extremely long and whacky message, screaming at Taehyung for not telling him about Seokjin being his brother. Taehyung wonders what Jungkook feels on why he had never met Taehyung while he grew up, but he puts aside the thought's clarification for a long due conversation with his elder brother.

Not being with Jungkook, through all the years of knowing about his surroundings, has become one of the problems in his life. He needs to understand much more than all of this.

He should talk to Seokjin, he thinks, and looks down at his phone where Jungkook's conversation is opened. 

He is notified that Jungkook has seen his message.

Jungkook: okay?!

Taehyung: im kidding. didnt jin tell u already? everything?

Jungkook: what is 'everything'? u dont jist reply an 'okay' to me anymore, understand?

Taehyung: whatever u say. 

Jungkook: ???

Taehyung: what?

Jungkook: dude... i want a sorry from u.

Taehyung: sorry.

Jungkook: good boy.

Taehyung: Jungkook?

Jungkook: yeah?

Taehyung: im glad u met him finally.

Jungkook: me too.  
.  
.  
.  
Min Yoon Gi looks at his boyfriend fiercely as he, along with Kim Seokjin, stares at a group of girls that Yoongi analyses to be apparently hot.

Basically drooling.

They both are lost, looking at them and only avert their gazes as the girls settle down at their table, away from their sight.

It is a more interesting scenario for Jungkook and Taehyung. 

It is normal for boys to stare at girls.

Quite normal.

But they find themselves looking at eachother, feeling embarrassed and having a small moment, silently justifying to eachother that they did not stare after the girls because they were amused by Yoongi's reaction.

Nothing else. 

Nothing else at all.

"Earth to Jimin!" Yoongi says, causing Jimin to go red in the face and stutter out all kinds of excuses all at once.

"Jesus, Yoongi. Let him live", Seokjin enters the very early-staged, possible argument and stops it. "Talk about being possessive", he goes on.

"He is literally in a committed relationship. Do you see me drooling after other people?"

"Sure I do", Jimin starts but shuts up when Yoongi looks directly at him.

"I'm on Yoongi's side on this", Taehyung says silently, and gets an annoyed grunt from Jimin and a small, unnoticeable look from Jungkook.

Jungkook had been feeling awkward at first, completely awed to see Kim Seokjin and Kim Taehyung together. 

And on top of it, Min Yoon Gi, a memeber of the most successful K-Pop group sits with them, completely casual and normal.

It is all enough to make Jungkook just a little nervous.

"I'm like, such a big fan, I swear", Jungkook had burst out, upon hus arrival.

"Thank You?" Yoongi had said, looking at Taehyung.

But he is slowly adjusting, and not having much friends in Korea, he is happy to be hanging out with a bunch of people that he adores.

And maybe has come to adore, or hopes to adore in the future, in the case of Park Ji Min.

They are at a fine, fancy restaurant, waiting for their meal to arrive. Jungkook would be lying if he says he is not relieved to see Taehyung being friends with a gay couple.

It is just once small potential problem off his chest.

"Oh really Tae-Tae? Very committed are we?" Yoongi rolls his eyes.

And this just makes Jungkook think why Yoongi would say that. 

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't you know?" Yoongi says.

"Hyung, you can't just..." Taehyung begins.

"Guys", Jin says as his peacemaker instincts kick in.

"Anyway, go back to being mad at them, thank you. They were basically gawking", Taehyung say after a pause, pointing at Jin and Jimin.

He is quite satisfied with himself to have handled the situation well. He can still feels some tension between him and Jungkook and he thinks he has made it clear to him that he was not interested in the girls.

Successfully...?

He hopes he has.

Sheepishly.

"Why so quiet Jungkook?" Jin says, popping a french fry into his mouth, trying to change the topic.

"What? Oh, um..."

"Don't feel shy or anything, we're all friends here", Jimin says, being the ever friendly person he is.

"Oh, I'm the least shy person, don't worry. But I don't mind being quiet. It's fine."

"So where exactly did you live in America?" Seokjin's interviewing skills don't miss this opportunity. He realizes that he had not talked about his life in America yesterday at all. All they did was talk about old times and how great it all was. He looks at Jungkook and feels a lot of sadness to not have known him for seven years of his life. The time when he had grown the most, had matured.

"New York. I went to NYU."

"Wow", Jimin comments silently, earning a smile from Jungkook.

"I was in New York a couple of months back, it's very noisy up there, no? Quite smelly too," Yoongi joins in the conversation, noticing that Taehyung is listening very intently to all of this.

"Yeah I know that, actually. I went to your show with a couple of friends", Jungkook says with a grin, causing Yoongi to blush, which is an unusual sight and makes Jimin go 'aww' internally. "It was really amazing."

"Oh Jungkook, when did you come to become such a fangirl?" Seokjin says, making everyone chuckle a little. "I left you a cute little innocent boy."

Taehyung trues to stop smiling. Too much. He can't seem to.

Silence takes over as they are served their food moments later. They tuck in immediately, none of the occupants of the table feeling the need to talk in between eating.

Taehyung looks at Jimin next to him. He sees that his eyes are looking at Yoongi from time to time. Taehyung has known his friend for a lot of years to not realize that he is worried.

"Oh Yoongi, when're you leaving again?" Taehyung asks, his mouth full of spaghetti. Jimin drops his chopstick and leans back on his chair.

Taehyung smiles at him.

"Wednesday. I still gotta practice in between. I think I'm gonna kill someone soon."

"I swear anger is sexy", Jimin comments to Taehyung, his voice loud enough for everyone to hear and causin them, except Yoongi, to scrunch up their noses.

Jungkook finds himself staring at Taehyung and tries to avoid it as much as possible. He knows that he is already walking forwards, building up something good with him.

He is braced up for doing something. Anything.

Anything to make things move. 

He hates this stillness in his and Taehyung's relationship.

He eats silently and looks up at Taehyung again, finding him already looking at him.

They smile at eachother, both internally deciding to let eachother know.

Soon.

Very soon.  
.  
.  
.  
Taehyung does not not show up on Monday morning. This fact only causes Jungkook to panic just a little and find out the reason why.

After much research, he comes to find out that Taehyung is on a leave.

He doesn't know why it hadn't come to his notice. Maybe being the CEO means to not worry about small things like this.

Work suddenly becomes a lot less interesting to him. 

The day passes and another day comes, with Jungkook having a lot of hope that Taehyung will show up.

But he doesn't.

He texts Taehyung, tries calling him but gets no reply whatsoever.

Tuesday:

[11:00 am] Are you okay?

[1:00 pm] Where are you?

Two missed calls.

Wednesday:

[9:00 am] can you please call me or something?

11:00 am. Jungkook has lost hope that he would be getting a reply from Taehyung. He can't find out the reason why Taehyung was on a leave from anyone around the office too.

Seokjin hadn't answered him too when he had asked about Taehyung. He had told him to not worry.

He stares at his phone and does the only thing he should do.

He calls Jimin.

Luckily, he picks up.

"Hello?"

"Jungkook? Hello, what's up?" He hears Jimin respond.

"Oh, uh. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

Pause.

"Are you calling about Taehyung?"

"Well, yes", Jungkook says hopefully.

"Oh. You worried?" Jungkook notices hesitation in Jimin's voice.

"Obviously. Is he okay?"

"Yeah but... well, I can't tell you not to worry."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Ah... I don't know what to say. He's just..."

"Jimin?"

"Do you want to visit him? That's all I can do for you right now."

Jungkook finds himself standing up from his seat.

"Yes, please?"

"Don't tell Jin okay?" He hears Jimin.

"Sure."

Jungkook tells Jimin that he will visit him around 2 pm and ends the call, thinking he should probably do some work before leaving. But sitting down, Taehyung's face floats before his eyes and he is running out of his office, ready to find out what is wrong.

He hopes nothing is.


	7. Of drunken kisses.

I feel terrible. There is constant aching inside me that I can't seem to erase. 

It's the next morning now but I still feel all that Seokjin had to say fresh inside me.

I know it's none of his fault but the least he could've done was told me. A little.

Anything.

He could not have lied to me.

I look in the mirror in front of me. I don't know why I died my hair last night. 

Maybe because I don't feel like myself. Maybe because I want to show others that I can't be the good person they want me to be. 

I just want revenge right now.

I hate everything.

I'm hating everything.

I want everything around me to disappear.

I have been breaking things around my home.

Home. My little home.

That used to make me feel good.

It isn't right now. 

Nothing is helping right now.

Nothing can.  
.  
.  
.  
Jungkook opens the door to Kim Taehyung's apartment and is hit by the most revolting stench of alcohol, which makes him question how much Taehyung really had to drink. Isn't he supposed to be sick?

He soundlessly closes the ebnoy-black door behind him as he walks forwards, carrying a constant worry that if Taehyung would mind him knowing the password to his apartment. 

His mission to remain silent is heavily disrupted as he steps on some broken glass on the floor, his shoes making a loud crunch. He looks down and is met with a disturbing sight of empty wine bottles and pathway of broken glass. He picks up his pace, avoiding to step on any more of the crystal, making a mental note to clean it all up for sure before he leaves, or at least tell Taehyung to.

He comes inside and looks around and the whole flat is a mess, and as far as Jungkook has checked, Taehyung is nowhere to be seen.

"Hello?" He calls out. No answer.

Jungkook has till yet peeked into the even more reeking kitchen, Taehyung's impressive studio and looked around the TV lounge twice. He is in between the second tour of the living room, when he spots Taehyung's phone lying on the couch. He sees notifications of 43 new messages, 20 missed calls.

He becomes sure Taehyung hadn't checked it for three days straight.

Jungkook hears a 'clink' of glass and a small 'huff' of breathing from somewhere overhead, causing him to drop the phone onto the couch. He looks upwards and has an immediate reaction to want to slap himself for not judging earlier. He runs over the small steel staircase at the corner wall and finally finds who he had been looking for the past seven minutes.

Taehyung's bedroom is protected by a series of thin black railing instead of walls. A bed in between and a small desk and it is the idea of a perfect bedroom in Taehyung's eyes. And looking at Taehyung right now, right in front of him, back leaned against the edge of the bed, eyes closed, Jungkook wonders how he had managed to not fall off.

Jungkook tip-toes forwards, trying to not give much thought on why Taehyung's hair is blonde and focuses on what to do next. He can barely recognize him in the state that he is.

A bottle of vodka is tightly clasped in Taehyung's hand and his face is smudged, and half covered with his hair. Jungkook can easily judge that he had been crying. He is cladded in a white T-Shirt and grey sweatpants, both appearing damp and sweaty.

Jungkook tries his best to not pinch his nose as he sits down next to him. He doesn't know how to act now. He just sits, staring, breathing slowly.

Three-day sick leave and this is what Taehyung had been doing. The curiosity to know what is going on is bothering him like an itch he can't reach and he wonders if Taehyung had even eaten at all, if anyone had visited him. He brings himself to act quickly in between his thoughts as he sees Taehyung raise the bottle in his hand to his mouth.

Jungkook stops him, wrapping his hand around his', making him lower the bottle.

"Don't interrupt my breakfast."

Jungkook looks back up at the boy lying in front of him, his voice cracked and hollow.

"Jimin?" Taehyung opens his eyes. Jungkook sees his lips turn up into a smile as his gaze sets upon him.

"Oh Jungkook. I must still be asleep."

"No, you're awake", Jungkook manages, suddenly letting go of Taehyung's hand.

"What're you doing here?" Taehyung asks him under heavy eyes.

Jungkook can't bring himself to answer. He watches as he shifts around, trying to find a comfortable position.

"What am I saying? You're like your father, aren't you? You always have to act nice. You always have to be...", Taehyung murmurs, but is loud enough for Jungkook to hear. "Loveable."

But Jungkook can't understand the meaning or a reason to why Taehyung would say this.

"Nice or not nice. Whatever... didn't stop me from falling."

Jungkook watches Taehyung as he sets aside the vodka clutched in his hand, but not before taking a sip.

Jungkook doesn't stop him this time.

Taehyung sits up properly, facing Jungkook and on his knees, getting on Jungkook's height.

He watches him as he opens his eyes properly and looks into Jungkook's.

"Have you always been this pretty?"

Jungkook tries to understand the level of how much drunk can Taehyung be to say something like this.

He concludes 'a lot'. 

Too much. 

He watches him silently, unable to speak as Taehyung raises his right hand, tilting his head side-ways. He brings it closer to Jungkook and touches his face, and trails his fingers down his face.

"Why did you have to do this to me?" Taehyung whispers, and Jungkook can see tears threatning to erupt from his eyes.

"What're you doing?"

"Shh", Taehyung silences him, drawing closer. "Please, let me."

Jungkook is hit with extreme of so many emotions at once as Taehyung leans in, and makes his lips meet with his own.

Confusion.

Happiness.

Worry.

Wonder.

And some more confusion.

He feels his body go numb as Taehyung kisses him, both of his hands cupping Jungkook's face.

He can feel the roughness of Taehyung's lips, the alcohol in his saliva and the dried tears on his cheeks. But Jungkook can't thank any God enough for how he reacts when he finally comes back to his senses, ten seconds later.

He tries to be gentle but ends up pushing Taehyung away from him, his body hitting the ground with a thud, and meeting the side of the bed once again.

"I'm so sorry", he hears himself whisper, reaching out for him.

Jungkook can see the surprise in Taehyung's face as he drags his body closer to him, attempting to make him sit up, but stops when Taehyung lifts up his hand at him.

"Don't come any closer."

"I'm so sorry... I just... I just can't do this right now like this."

"I said stop!" Taehyung shouts at Jungkook, standing up and then dropping down on the bed the next second.

Jungkook stands up too, swallowing.

"Leave, right now!" Taehyung says loudly, arms covering his eyes.

"You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing. I can't-"

"Just... stop talking. Just leave. Please", Taehyung whispers this time, his throat hitching.

Jungkook doesn't speak further. He feels his heart throbbing violently against his chest. He climbs down the stairs, feeling like a complete idiot. 

He wants to fade.

He walks quickly, not caring if he breaks anything.

He is almost at the door when it opens itself.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave."

He spots Park Ji Min sanding at the threshold, looking at him.

"Oh my God, why are you crying?"

Jungkook's hands go up to his face and feel his moist face. He hadn't realized he was crying. 

"I- I gotta go."

And he runs out, past Jimin and into the elevator, wanting to go far away.

His mind is not accepting what had just happened. He can't think clearly on what had just happened.

He feels lost.

He feels broken and knows nothing will mend it except Taehyung.

Sadly.

He must talk to him. Soon.

But first, he must talk to his father.

He will have to do something.

Anything.  
.  
.  
.  
Taehyung always had an elder brother, always by his side, always there to help him without a question. He was the only one who knew about Taehyung's failed friendship with Jungkook when they had been very small. He knew about how Jungkook's father had prevented his younger brother to see his child, unjustly and cruelly, on his wife's nudging apparently. 

He was the one who took care of Taehyung's feelings towards Jungkook, always sending him his pictures, telling him about his likes and dislikes, trying his best to keep Taehyung as updated as possible.

He had already been working on a plan to make Jungkook meet Taehyung but then he himself was told to not see Jungkook anymore. 

But before this, before Jin had found out Mr. Jeon's true colors, before his life became a roller coaster, on the 1st of December, Seokjin and Taehyung were having a small chat on the internet.

Taehyung could hear loud voices and screams from downstairs, and he was trying his best to ignore. He wanted to be as far away from drama as possible. He was used to his parents fighting.

And an expert at not doing anything to set them off even more.

His brother had just sent him a picture of Jungkook, trying to cheer Taehyung up. And in the future, Taehyung had hated every second of what had happened.

He wished he had never opened the picture. He wished he had never zoomed in. He wished his laptop hadn't been facing the door to his room.

If he hadn't done all of that, Jungkook would have never gone to America. They might have met, differently and earlier.

Maybe with a better fate.

Maybe not.

But Taehyung can't ever know now.

If Jungkook's mother hadn't walked into his room that very second, Taehyung can imagine his life being completely different easily. Better or not, it would have been unlike what it is now.

He still remembers the look of triumph on Mrs. Jeon's face when she had seen Taehyung, and his laptop's screen. He still remembers the look of disappointment on his mother's face when she finally reached his room.

He still remembers how he had felt.

Bad.

Miserable.

Alone.  
.  
.  
.  
Seokjin had had a small meeting with his younger brother once they had returned from the restaurant and into his penthouse. Jimin had gone into his room and fallen asleep the moment they had entered. Yoongi had gone out for some time and Taehyung had thought for it to be the best time to ask his brother questions.

He had lots of them.

Taehyung had tried his best to hide and not think about all that he was facing the past week. He had tried to focus his attention to Jungkook and Jungkook only, working best to think that he in no way was related to the former CEO of the company he works for.

His father's best friend.

The man he had thought had the best interests for him.

He had been finding plot holes in the story Mr. Jeon had told him. About Jungkook's mother hating him, about how Taehyung wasn't supposed to meet Jungkook, to know Jungkook just because she hated the idea. 

He now knows that it is only half true.

He had never met Jungkook's mother after what had happened in his house when he had been 18. When his mother had left them. But apparently, she hadn't told Mr. Jeon anything.

At least that's what he said. He said he was clueless about everything. He said that he never wanted anything bad happen to Taehyung.

And Taehyung knowing nothing, believed him. He believed in all his lies.

The fact that Mr. Jeon had deprived Seokjin of Jungkook's developed friendship alone caused Taehyung to suspect. But caught in great lies and blinded by jealousy and hate for his fate, he just wanted to think for his own interest that Mr. Jeon indeed loved him as his own son. 

He would rather believe that his brother was lying to him. To protect a man that he had looked up to his whole life.

To protect himsel from wrecking.

Completely.

"Jin, just tell me the truth, please. I'm just done with everything. I don't care what your purposes were to hide all this from me but I'm telling you I want to know the truth and you have to tell me." And this had somehow convinced Seokjin to tell Taehyung the truth, along with guilt of not doing so earlier. He thought it would've been better a better decision. He was worried if dumping it all onto Taehyung at once would ruin him. But he couldn't himself keep it all in anymore.

Taehyung had decided with a heavy heart that he wanted to know what was really happening in his life, why it was full of problems that no one could see except himself. That no one would understand.

Why his father had even trusted a man who smelled of nothing else but betrayal.

Sugar-coated betrayal.

He had suspected him first when he had found out how wrongly he was being paid. When he had found out how wrongly Jungkook's father had been using his work.

His efforts.

"Tae, I just want you to know that whatever I did was in best interests of you only."

Taehyung did not respond to his brother and stared at him, not wanting to listen to anymore lies.

Truth. That's all he wanted.

"How much do you even know?" Jin asked him.

Min Yoongi had entered the penthouse then, walking right over to see the brothers looking at eachother silently. It all turned out for the best at the end. If he hadn't come over at that moment, he can't really pinpoint on how Jin would've managed Taehyung alone.

And then Taehyung had told Jin everything he already knew. All the things that already were bothering him. Everything that had made him dishonest towards his boss.

His company. 

His work.

Everyone. Worried and lonely.

Seokjin didn't get to tell much to Taehyung, as they discussed how to handle everything rationally. But he failed.

Sadly. He hadn't thought that one piece of information would hurt Taehyung this bad.

"What did you just say?!" Taehyung shouted, standing up, eyebrows furrowed.

"Tae..."

"No, Yoongi. I can't bear lies anymore. Tell me what the fuck is going on in that old man's head!"

Yoongi had shut up then, not wanting to cause his friend anymore pain. 

It was a bad night. Worse for Taehyung.

But Seokjin and Yoongi managed to control Taehyung enough to not go out and harm someone. They couldn't succeed in stopping him from harming himself.

Once Taehyung found out how he had been deceived, how he had gone through almost all his life away from a boy he had so unconditionally been fond of just because a man was beside him with a mask.

Not Jungkook's mother, his father.

The man who Taehyung had thought of his father. A good man.

A man who thought of Taehyung as dirt. Just because he had liked his son. Just because he did not belong to his class.

Just because Taehyung had once had a sinful father.

Just because he trusted the wrong man all his life.

A murderer.

A cheater.

And just because Jin and Yoongi knew Taehyung a lot, they managed to stop him from doing something very bad.

Just because Taehyung was not anything like his father, he spent the night driving, away. Away from everything and anything.

Tears did not stop pouring down from his face that night.

It was their fate for the next three days.

His heart pained.

He restrained hard to jump off a cliff, harm himself just because he had a lot of things to live for.

Now more than ever.


	8. Of realizations.

Taehyung stares at Jungkook coming out of his school. He watches him as he walks infront of his big group of friends.

Happy. Laughing.

Twelve years old and he still feels anxious whenever he sees his old friend.

He still can't seem to figure out why he can't talk to him. Why his father always avoids his question about this.

Why his brother can and he can't.

Why he is no longer in touch with Jungkook.

Why he can't be.  
.  
.  
.  
Jungkook reaches his house, shaky, after returning from Taehyung's, now regretting his decision. He doesn't know what he would say to his father but all he wants is answers.

Not because he had fallen in love with a person who he barely knew, but because he felt like he had already known him forever. Because he could sense there was something very wrong with how the company he now owns is working.

Because he senses something very wrong on how he was raised.

Away. Away from family.

Away from everyone he could've found dear.

He feels troubled and foreign, as he slowly makes his way inside towards his father's study. 

His plan is to to ask his father a million questions, get to know what is happening around him but he judges easily that the future has different plans from him. He hears hushed whispers of argument from outside the door of his father's study room, his face going white when he realizes the topic of conversation between his mother and father.

He stands very close to the wooden door and evesdrops without planning.

"...which clearly means you don't want him to be happy. How can you even think like that about him? I'm telling you the truth and this is how you react? How can you do this to Taehyung when not to your own son? How can you not be acting unfair?" Jungkook hears his mother.

"You don't understand. I don't have talent like him. We can't ever find it elsewhere. Do you even know about the money? The amount? Do you even care?"

"You can't..."

"And anyway, weren't you the one who used to tell me it's for the betterment of Jungkook?"

"Yes, and I always will think the best for him. You, on the other hand clearly don't. And if you can't see yourself ruining a whole life, if you don't regret anything at all, I don't see how I can help you."

Jungkook is frozen in his spot. He can't being himself to move as he hears footsteps, heels clicking against wooden floors coming closer and closer.

He doesn't move as the door opens, revealing his mother coming out.

He looks at her, unbelievingly and angry, not being able to let what he heard sink in. Not hearing a lot, but understanding everything.

"I trusted you", he says lowly, his nostrils flaring as he feels moisture in his eyes.

"Jungkook..."

"Save it!"

And then he runs, out of the house and back into his car, ignoring his mother behind him.

He lights up a cigarette and drives away, and continues for a whole hour. And somehwere in between, he finds himself calling Seokjin.

The only person he trusts.

He had to meet him. He has to know.

He has to tell.

He has to figure everything out. 

He has to know why everything is happening the way it is? Is it some kind of a plan? Some trick?

He heavily increases the car's speed and clenches his jaw. He doesn't know when the tears begin to form.

A half an hour later, he finds himself at Seokjin's door. He opens it and leads Jungkook inside and into the kitchen, pouring Jungkook some tea.

"Where are you going to stay?"

"I'll see", Jungkook says, sniffling.

"Come on, tell me what exactly happened."

"You would tell me anything if I asked you right? You wouldn't judge me or hate me if I told you something, would you? Can I trust you?"

Jin is surprised by Jungkook's questions as he looks up at him longingly. He can feels his cheeks heat up, fearing what Jungkook would say but he finds himself nodding.

He sits down next to Jungkook and pats his shoulder.

"You can tell me anything. I've told you."

"And can you tell me anything?"

Jin looks into the younger boy's eyes. Jin had been regretting his decisions in the past for days, constantly blaming himself for Taehyung's broken heart.

He looks at Jungkook and he can see Taehyung's face. He can see how similar they both are.

In such a similar position.

And in one moment, Jin knows he can't do this to Jungkook too. He knows he would end up hurt and alone like Taehyung.

In one moment, he wants Jungkook's life to be simpler.

Unlike Taehyung's. If anything can make it that way.

"You sure?"

Jungkook doesn't need to nod in approval, the desperation in his face is clear as day to Jin.

"Our father", he begins after sighing out, knowing nothing is going to stop him now. "He used to be in a maphia, a gang you know, dealt in drugs and whatnot. Anything illegal, you name it, he did it. You father and he used to be friends since high school. But people go in different places, differently. Your father got to have a different future, respectable. But with no family heirlooms or properties, Dad thought for being wealthy that was the only option, I guess. Well, your father found Dad again when he was deep into this shit. He got him out. You can say Dad owes a lot to your father but how can he pay him now, yeah? Who knows if he even intended to."

Jungkook doesn't to plan on interrupting Seokjin. He feels adrenaline in his system, his stomach sinking. 

"Your father helped out Dad a lot. Financially, in any other way, trying to get him out of the blackness. Maybe Dad thought it wasn't a good thing. Maybe he thought they were even because his girlfriend left him for your father."

Jin pauses.

"Mom?" Jungkook's voice comes out small.

Jin nods, not wanting to meet Jungkook's eye. 

"She was with Dad through all this time, but knowing Dad had basically zero money now, she left him."

Jin swallows.

"Well, I think Dad was selfish. He must have forgiven Mr. Jeon beause their friendhsip didn't stop, not because of a woman and not because of anything. Consequently, your mom hated us. Our whole family. I don't really blame her for doing so, I guess."

Jungkook looks at Jin, confused.

"Once I got to know what really was happening, I thought it was self-destruction. It's always better than destroying someone else's life.

"Our families didn't get along much then. My Dad married and had me, and all thanks to his friend, he was able to support us."

Jin feels his mouth getting dryer as he gets closer to possibly making Jungkook angry, making him feel sad. He swallows once before continuing, figuring out what words to use.

"Your mother didn't want anything to do with us. But our fathers were basically inseparable. They wanted their sons to be as good friends as them, I guess it was their dream or something. You and I became friends very quickly, you didn't go anywhere without me."

Jin find himself smiling a little.

"I was literally your bodyguard slash tutor slash everything, to be honest. I remember telling about you to Taehyung one day, and he had wanted to meet you too. So Dad made you two meet. You became such good friends. I thought I was losing my touch because all you did all day was talk about him."

Jungkook tries to smile.

"Well, your mother didn't want at least Tae to be your friend, maybe judging that I was a fine influence on you. You were a single child, I guess they wanted everything perfect for you. Your dad made sure that you guys did not separate or something, telling me to let you guys play without your mom knowing. He used to be away a lot those days, touring and all. I was young, how careful could I have been? Your mom caught you guys playing once, although she had talked to your Dad to not let you interact with any of us much."

Jin thinks he doesn't know if it's the best thing he is doing, if telling a person about the solemn reality of his parents is a good thing.

Telling about their indifference.

But looking at Jungkook, he feels that he needs to know. 

Especially if it all helps Taehyung.

Maybe he should focus on that. Maybe he should stop. Maybe he should leave out the details on why exactly his father had died.

Jin knows he is off the track, and maybe he's succeeding in taking Jungkook's mind off of his parents and all that they were and are up to. Maybe unconciously, that's what he wants. Maybe this can lead to a bigger problem but he can't stop.

Not now.

"Anyways, all that aside. I shouldn't be saying shit about your parents so I wouldn't. I mean because of him I got to get into idol training, a good college, and everything. I owe him if I'm honest. But..."

"What?"

"My Dad died when I was 21, Taehyung was 18 and that's when you father became the problem in my life. I used to idolize him, he was the angel in our lives then."

Jin pauses and checks the time.

He has a shoot soon, he thinks he should just get to the point. He thinks it's the best to just talk about Taehyung and get it all over with. He shouldn't have mentioned his father's death. 

As the time passes and he talks, he has noticed how uncomfortable Jungkook looks whenever his own father is mentioned specifically and how he appears much more interested as Jin mentions Taehyung.

"But slowly, I realized he was far from that. Taehyung hadn't known about most of this until now, that's why has been acting like this, if you're curious."

Jungkook has his hands balled up into a fist for preventing himself from dong anything. Not reacting.

In any way.

He unnoticeably nods his head as Jin goes silent again, watching him.

"Taehyung... he had a... you know how I always liked to take your pictures? How I..."

Jungkook watches Jin take his head in his head.

"That's the only thing I did that I'm proud of. I kept Taehyung happy, I did all in my power and I was successful back then only. I've messed up everything", Jin says, not looking at Jungkook anymore.

Jungkook moves closer to Jin, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Hyung..."

"He was madly in love, I know that. And he knew that. And he kept him away from you."

Jungkook feels his throat tighten. Is he hearing this right?

"My mother left us when she had found out, because Taehyung was an embarrassment to her. And Dad had lived with us, for a month and then he left us too, even if it wasn't his will to do so... it all left us alone, in no one's mercy. And your father had thought that us orphans can be taken advantage of."

He looks up. Anger rises up inside him, his rational side fighting hard to stop talking. 

"He knew Taehyung liked you, he didn't even know you except for one year as a child, he knew he wanted to have him as a father, he knew everything and he acted like this. He deceived us bad. I found out and I never had the guts to tell Taehyung. I messed everything up."

Jungkook is at this point is consoling Jin, suddenly feeling tired.

Tired of realizing.

Tired of hearing.

"It's okay. He'd forgive you."

"Jungkook, he didn't want your father to be hurt in any way. He sacrificed himself, his love so that he just could have a sincere... father.

"I can only call him naïve."

Jin lets out a weak laugh.

"He used to ask me all about you. I used to tell him everything. But then you went away and he didn't even have me and I know he was as confused as ever then. But I guess he learnt to live after. He was obsessed. And now... he has found out so much and..."

A still silence pierces both the boy's minds. 

"Does he still...?" Jungkook finds himself asking lowly, knowing that his tears have made way down his cheeks.

"I beg you Jungkook, don't hurt him anymore. He needs you."

Jungkook looks at him.

"Atleast be patient. Let him down slowly if you really have to. He can't bear it anymore."

Jungkook nods.  
.  
.  
.  
Jimin is not as surprised to see Jungkook at Taehyung's apartment so early as he is to see him leave in the condition that he does.

Crying.

Looking sullen.

He does not dare to stop him or ask him anything as he is more horrified than surprised at the sightof Taehyung's apartment.

He runs inside, wondering how Tae had managed to make such a mess in one night.

He had come over the day before, unwanted and had been strictly told off by Taehyung. He had been told to leave.

Jimin had given his friend what he wanted then, but no one could have stopped him from visiting in the evening again, making sure he was safe.

He doesn't give much thought on how Taehyung had managed to have this much amount of liquor in only a few hours as depicted by the floor and focuses on reaching him first. Upon arrival to his bedroom, he approaches him slowly, letting out a sigh of relief to see him alive and breathing.

Awake, as he sees his fingers twitch.

He uncovers his friend's eyes, lifting up his arm and moving it aside. Taehyung opens his eyes immediately and as soon as they land on Jimin's face, they well up.

Jimin makes Taehyung sit up on his bed.

"I fucked up."

Jimin lets Taehyung say whatever he wants to.

"I fucked up, Jimin. I've messed up everything."

And Jimin knows what to do.

He wraps his arms around the sobbing Taehyung, letting his tears make a home on his shoulders.

"Shh", he whispers lowly and feels his friend embracing him even tighter, his breathes coming out uneven.

He hates him feeling like this.

He silently promises himself that he would never stop protecting Taehyung.

Pay him back.

No matter what.  
.  
.  
.  
Yoongi runs his fingers through his boyfriend's hair as he rests his head on Yoongi's bare chest.

Yoongi knows Jimin is troubled. He wants him to stop being so.

"What happened between Jungkook and him anyway?"

"I don't know. I didn't really want him to talk about it, I know he would've felt weird", Jimin says, playing with Yoongi's fingers.

"I thought he was coming around."

"Maybe... but how can you blame him? I just wanted him to get out of his hangover for a start." 

Yoongi had finally found a little time in the past three days to spend with his boyfriend before he has to leave again. But he can't bring himself to leave his side yet, knowing how he is feeling.

"Jin says he is ignoring him completely", Yoongi tells Jimin, staring up at the ceiling of Jimin's room. He had not gone to his own house yet, met his parents putside and that was it. He had barely any time left for anyone anymore.

"Hm", Jimin says with a pout and readjusts his position next to Yoongi, head resting on his hands supported by his elbows on the bed.

"Do you think he'll be fine?"

"I'm sure he would. Try to make him forget, he would, eventually. Why don't you invite him to a party or something? Make him feel nice. And Jungkook would help, wouldn't he?"

Jimin shakes his head and sighs. "I don't know. It's too messed up. I can't even imagine what Tae is going through."

"It's okay. I know him. He's strong."

Jimin looks at his boyfriend.

"How do you get to be this calm?" Jimin looks at Yoongi.

"You make me", he replies, leaning in to kiss Jimin one last time before he has to get up.

"I love you", Jimin smiles, giving a small peck to Yoongi on his forehead.

"Me too. Always."  
.  
.  
.  
Jungkook is still unsure if partying is the best way to resolve anything on his mind. But Jimin had practically begged him, black-mailing him with a 'being lonely card' and nonsense about Friday night begging to be partied.

He had not gone back to his house after his small encounter with his mother. He had not dared to and made a hotel room his temporary home.

Until something happens.

Something good.

He had agreed to coming tonight but as he stands in the parking lot, leaned against the bumper of his car, he is regretting coming here. He had an unsettling feeling in his stomach that he can't explain.

He just hopes Seokjin comes along with Jimin. And he is not sure if he should call it delight that he feels when he spots Jimin at a distance, walking towards him, wearing a very shiny black, possibly silk shirt as far as Jungkook can see and ripped white jeans and indeed, behind him is Kim Seokjin himself.

But Jungkook suddenly loses his ability to sense his surroundings as he spots a rather solemn and sulky Taehyung following behind.

Jimin has a 'I'm sorry' expression on his face and Jin's face is blank as they come closer.

Jungkook does not wait for the group to approach him, as he gives them an acknowledging nod and starts walking in first.

He hears Jimin call after him once.

He knows he's just not ready to face Taehyung yet.

He can't seem to.


	9. of finding love.

Jimin had managed to drag Taehyung along, but had regretted a little later when he had seen the look on his face when Seokjin joined them. 

To be precise, the ride to the nightclub wasn’t very pretty.

Silent.

Piercing.

Jimin knew Taehyung had no reason left to blame Jin, for anything, with time, but he also knew he wasn’t ready to talk to him either.

Yet.

Still, he could easily say that nothing was fine if analysed by how Taehyung followed Jungkook and in through the door under the bright neon lights, eyebrows furrowed and clenched teeth.

He could easily sense Taehyung being furious at him.

He could sense his discomfort.

He just hoped everything would turn out for the best.

But all this was half an hour ago, when Jin had patted him on the back to let him know that everything was going to be okay, even if he himself did not believe so.

Now, Jimin is almost drunk, fully dancing, missing his boyfriend and free of concerns.

Seokjin, however, cannot free himself of any kinds of worries, as he sits next to Jungkook on a couch, staring at his brother at the other end of the room.

Alone.

Looking close to being sick.

“Jungkook?”

“Hmm?”

“Can you take him home?”

Jungkook does not need to ask Jin who he is talking about and somehow suddenly beats Taehyung in looking completely depressed to Jin at his words.

“Are you sure?"

The older boy nods.

"Would he go?”

He shrugs. “Maybe. Try.”

Jungkook looks at Seokjin, bracing himself to face any kind of a reaction.

He gets up and walks through the loud music, the blinding red lights and the swaying, happy bodies and reaches Kim Taehyung.

Jungkook decides that he should start with an apology.

The past day, all he had done was lie in bed and think about him. 

Think exactly how he would be feeling. And all the good it had done him was strengthen his affection.

Towards Taehyung.

For his... love? Love.

He stands opposite Taehyung, who looks up at him slowly with parted lips and tired eyes.

“Thank you”, Jungkook ends up saying. He watches Taehyung as his eyes leave his face and travel around the hall until they settle on Jin.

He watches him as he lets out a blue laugh.

Hints of detest lacing it.

Gloom evident.

Taehyung gets up.

“For what?” He asks, ready to leave and not hear Jungkook’s reply. Jungkook grabs his arm before he can leave.

“Do you want to get out of here?”  
Taehyung looks down at his wrist with Jungkook’s hand wrapped around it. He can feel it.

Lenient and course at the same time. Promising.

He finds himself agreeing.

And twenty minutes later, they are in the basement parking of Taehyung’s apartment building.

Knowing that Jin must have told Jungkook something, anything, maybe everything, makes something itch inside him.

“If you’re doing this out of pity, you shouldn’t have”, Taehyung speaks for the first time through their ride here. Jungkook had asked him if he wanted to eat anything and he had wordlessly refused. Jungkook is surprised at Taehyung's sudden statement but doesn’t reply as he pockets his car-keys and gets out of his seat, walking over to the passenger’s side to open the door for Taehyung, already planning to visit his house for the second time.

Uninvited again.

Hoping to not be thrown out.

Again.

He follows behind Taehyung as he gets off, not saying a word, silently, like a shadow.

Taehyung continues walking, neither acknowledging him behind himself, nor telling him to go away. He opens the apartment door on reaching and steps aside to let Jungkook in, making him smile internally.

Five minutes and they find themselves in the kitchen, still not talking, Taehyung fixing them both a cup of coffee. His back is facing Jungkook, who sits on a chair at the counter. 

Taehyung can feel his gaze at him.

He turns around after finishing, thinking he probably should clear the heavy air.

“Jungkook…”

‘Can I say something first?” 

Jungkook interrupts, as if waiting for Taehyung to break the quiet first. 

Taehyung doesn't get to respond as Jungkook begins. “Thank you."

Taehyung frowns, but Jungkook tries hard not to let that stop himself from speaking.

Finally.

"A couple of months back, I graduated. My mother was at the convocation. She flew in, like three days before for it. Dad had only texted me that he won’t be able to make it. I really wanted him to come. He had told me before that he would. I minded a lot then. For some minutes, I guess because I knew I’d be meeting him soon enough, that I’d be back in Korea soon and I shouldn’t worry. I felt relaxed after that thought. But I wanted to come here only to see Dad. I hadn’t met him for a year. But I’d be lying if I say I didn’t feel pressure when he had told me about the new business for me to handle. I had thought a lot about it. I knew how my life would become monotonous once I return and just… I feared leaving all my freedom behind, leaving everyone behind who like me, who were my friends. The people who accepted me and wanted to be with me, knowing everything about me. But I left anyway. Ready for judgements and pressure. Ready for Korea."

Jungkook lets our a small nervous chuckle and looks at Taehyung, who is staring at him intently.

"It wasn't my first choice to come back. I had forgotten all about this place. I had thought that it was all for good. But something happened when I got here. Something great. Something that proved my thoughts wrong about not being happy here.”

Taehyung grasps where Jungkook is going. He finds his knees go weak, and he turns around, not wanting Jungkook to look at him the way he is.

Anymore.

Feeling a foreign feeling stir inside him.

He can’t bring himself to look at him anymore. He clutches the edge of the counter tightly, staring down at two cups of coffee getting cold.

“I saw a guy.”

Pause.

“I saw this responsible and mature man and I knew instantly that he wasn’t just some ordinary guy. I knew right away that he was something special. He was going to be something special. Maybe. I knew my... sudden, new crush wasn’t ordinary.”

Pause.

Heavy breathes.

“I got to know him further and saw many sides to him. I found out that I was indeed right. He was something unusual. Something really, really different. I found out he is family. A friend.”

Taehyung feels his chest go tight as he still doesn’t dare to look at Jungkook. Head bent low.

But he can hear him getting up.  
Walking.

Getting closer.

"I found out how much I have started liking him. How I don’t stop thinking about him even for one second. I found out about his good, pure heart.”

Taehyung can feel Jungkook standing right behind him now, the veins in his neck showing up as he grits his teeth, trying to stop himself from reacting in any way.  
Doing something.

Doing something over which he might remorse over later.

"I just fell completely head-over-heels. I never thought I was capable of that feeling, you know?"

Jungkook swallows. Taehyung can hear him very close behind him.

“Do you know who he is, Taehyung?”

Jungkook breathes on Taehyung’s neck, making him quiver.

Their bodies so close and yet Jungkook feels him so far away.

So lost.

He surprises himself as he wraps his arms around Taehyung’s body and rests his head on his shoulder.

“Do you know who made me feel like I still can be happy when everything started falling apart?”

Jungkook feels Taehyung relax under his touch.

"Do you know what thought I had that made it so easy to make such a big decision in a split second?"

Taehyung closes his eyes, feeling his hands go sweaty. He turns back around in Jungkook’s embrace and faces him, looking right into his eyes, having everything he could ask for.

Hope, mixed with despair, the same that he had seen in his own very eyes.

Making him realize that he needs him as much as he needs Jungkook.

Right now.

"I left my house", Jungkook says, looking right into Taehyung's glimmery eyes. "For good."

“Jungkook…”

“Shh”, Jungkook whispers, trailing his hand up to Taehyung’s face, “Please, let me.”

He thins the distance between them. Moving in nearer and nearer, breathing in. He wipes a small tear rolling down Taehyung’s cheek with his thumb lightly before pressing his lips against his’, feeling tingles run down his whole body.

Taehyung freezes for a fraction of second. The reality hits him like a brick and he can barely feel himself anymore. But then Taehyung's hands travel down Jungkook's back, as feels him kiss him back.

Taehyung recognizes that this is what he had been seeking, for so many years of his life.

He can’t bring himself to believe that it is Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook in his arms right now. He can’t bring himself to comprehend that it is happening.

Actually.

He doesn’t want him stop.

He finds himself smiling as Jungkook grazes his tongue on his lower lip.

It is the same Jungkook that he has dreamt of, that he has longed for.  
Who had just confessed how he likes him back.

They break away, and discover each other to be grinning. Suddenly, happily.

“Do you really wanna do this?” 

Jungkook asks, making Taehyung roll his eyes. How much more obvious can he be that he wants nothing else but this? How much more should he love him?  
He grabs Jungkook’s hand as a reply and runs over to the living room, him stumbling behind. He flings a laughing Jungkook on the couch, standing over him.

"Are you even kidding me?” He says as he joins him on the couch, feeling nothing but bliss, his tears long gone and away, as he runs his hands on Jungkook’s skin under his shirt after travelling through his hair, their lips not parting.

And after days, Taehyung finally feels life to be blameless.


End file.
